February 15, 2009


Thanks to the painful experience using the WYSI-N-WYG editor,

I have moved to: http://infiniteascent.wordpress.com/

Please pick up the story from there...


April 14, 2008

Cookery of Errors...

This work was in my drafts for a long time. Had to put it up. Completed it now. :)
'Experience is the best teacher' - someone said long time ago... we learned it the hard way.

[Strings - Zinda]

It was a saturday evening. Me, Praveen, Joel, Abe, Rony planned to prepare dinner. :D. The modus operandi was similar to an software project (We are software engineers :D .. except Rony. He works for the bank.).

[Bob Sinclair - World, Hold on]

Step 1 was planning stage. We planned to keep the requirements to a minimum and prepare veg food. That went pretty easy and everyone was very confident of getting through this nice n full :). Step 2 was procurement. Me n Joel went to the nearest supermarket to get the groceries. This too was an easy step. Rice, Onions, Coriander, egg (oh ya... this was the 1st requirements change in the cycle.), tomato, 'payar' (mallu term - english conversion - anyone?) n oh ya - 'puliyogare' ready-to-use mix

[Gary Jules - Mad World]

Time is 9PM. Step 3 began with creating the plan of action - as to how we'll go about preparing each curry. The fun began after we put the rice for cooking. We had brought white rice. Supposedly it should get cooked perfect with 7 whistles of the pressure-cooker ( 8-| ). So 7 whistles it was.... anyways. In the mean time - we got to cutting the vegetables - onions, tomato, green chilli :D.

[Moby - Porcelain]

It's 7 down and we slowly open the cooker after letting it cool down. Standard operating procedures followed. We started seeing the inevitable. The rice was overcooked and had become almost a paste. But the project had to go on and reach completion, as what was at stake were the lives of 5 great people. :) . The time was, after extraction of the rice from the cooker, 9.45PM.

[INXS - Afterglow]

Next was the convert this paste-like-rice to puliyogare. We tried mixing the ready-to-use powder - well as you can guess - it was impossible task - and it stayed so. the mix got all wrong. Disastrous. Our hopes of having a decent meal looked bleak. But not to accept defeat, we planned counter-measures. That was to create a curry using some home-made masala I had brought from home. Since the time was near 10.45PM by now -after all the mixing and disaster planning - I was sure - there is no point calling my mother to find out how to exactly use this masala. I had a very vague idea. But it was one idea anyway. So we fried few onion pieces, and mixed the masala, water - and lo! we had a ... umm... some kinda curry. Which had minimal taste.Well, that was the next failure.

[Crazytown - Black cloud]

Still we went ahead. We create the payar-curry, to some success, I must say. The time was near 11.30PM by now. And we were all terribly hungry. In a haste we made double-egg omlets for each one of us. By 12AM in the morning - it was all set to be eaten. So now - we had another problem - the puliyogare - if you can call it that - was not hot at all, the paste nature of the rice meant it got all stuck up and was like chunks of rice. But there was no other go. It was project deadline and it had to go live. So we all put on to the plate a mix of all what we made and had it.
It was not really bad. The process was a disaster.

[Craig David - Hot Stuff (Bob Sinclair World Hold on remix) ]

Like the wise man's words - experience is the best teacher. That's for all you readers! Learn how not to cook from what we did. It was a cookery of errors. :)


This about this special 'Vishukanni' that I saw today, and also last year. :)
For those who don't know what Vishu is & the concept of 'Vishukanni' - WikiMan to the rescue!

From the page:
"The festival is marked with offerings to the divine called Vishukkani. The offerings consist of a ritual arrangement in the puja room of auspicious articles like raw rice, fresh linen, golden cucumber, betel leaves, arecanut, metal mirror, the yellow flowers konna (Cassia fistula), and a holy text and coins, in a bell metal vessel called uruli. A lighted bell metal lamp called nilavilakku is also placed alongside. This arrangement is completed the previous night. On the day of Vishu, the custom is to wake up at dawn and go to the puja room with the eyes closed so that the Vishukkani is the first thing one sees. Since the occasion marks the beginning of Malayalam New Year, it is also considered auspicious to read verses from Hindu Holy book Ramayanam after seeing the "Vishukkani". It is also believed by some that the page of the Ramayanam to which you open up will have a bearing on your life in the coming year."

I do doubt a bit about the entire explanation by Wikiman, still nevertheless the explanation of Vishukanni IS correct.

The one I witnessed it something different. The difference bears on my views on religion, perspective on what means 'will have a bearing on your life in the coming year' :D...

This might sound silly, but your views on this take a back seat! So read on now... this is my kind of Vishukanni:

A quick bike ride in the wee hours, early in the morning... needn't be long distance. It just has to have all the elements of a bike-ride! Speed, hi-revs, sharp corners with that heavy braking, a short, very short break before returning home. Where people see the 'nillavilaku', the holy books, n everything that makes up the vishukanni, making them feel that the year ahead is going to be good n blessed, to me - the bike, the ride, the wind-in-the-face, the chilling temperatures cuz of the speed, the speed itself, the music from the engine n the happiness felt on the return is what makes the moment, the day, the year- special.

Oh, I really don't mind making every early morning stints like this... just the difficulty in waking up. :D :P!

So why did I wake up early today - to drop a friend at the airport. He had to read the airport at 5.15AM at the latest... but things did go as planned - we could only leave home @ 5.12. Obviously - I don't think 12.5km in 3 mins is practically possible - thats like - 250kmph from the word go. NOT even a ferrari can do it. Please - b'lore roads and the unreliable traffic in the morning hours which means - no rules followed by others - even if u keep em all. So it would not be possible before being run over by a truck running on ur side of the road with its headlights off. So. :P

I did that distance in 9 mins. A more reasonable speed. near an average 85kmph (I am not doing the exact math here.) But thats good for a pulsar 150 and our roads and considering that it was, really, a cautious ride with proper slow-downs at major junctions and also taking care of not going through the gutters and all.

The return was also the same, maybe a slightly more than 9 mins. But not touching 10.

Last year, we went on such a trip to marathalli, @ 2AM in the morning(or was it 1.50AM.. not sure).

There is something really vindicating in the ride. A feeling of freeing our minds of troubles. Forgetting the problems of the past, getting ready for a new day, a new year (Our way of showing gratitude to the year past, and ushering in the new year.). We mark this is a special occasion just cuz we are all kerala and we are not particularly religious enough to keep any holy books, we found our own way to celebrate it. (No offense meant..).

Just that today, it was just me n my friend, last year we were 3 - those 2 are home now. So happy vishu to 'em and all who are reading this! :D

(Had to write this before heading for office, apologies for bad grammar, spelling mistakes, slight level of incoherence in ideas, and not elaborating further...)!

:D - clicked this after reaching back:

(No time to get this photoshop-ed!). The Vishukanni, the Verses are played from engine's music, the divine light is what you feel when ride to your heart's content.

Happy Vishu to all again!

April 1, 2008

What is Real?

This is a question we all have, atleast after the movie 'The Matrix' was released. We were all stunned by the concept of the movie. The concept was so overwhelming, so stunning, so undeniable that all the special effects (which were fresh, never before seen), the amazing characters - Agent Smith, Morpheus, Neo, Trinity - each character chosen to perfection that - for sure - we could relate to one of those characters.... all this was just an extra compared to the idea.

"What is the Matrix?"
I am not here to review the movie. I am sure there are millions of reviews out there. Millions of theories developed on it. Universes created around this idea. So much.

I am here because today I ended up asking myself - 'What is real?"

Morpheus: "What is real? How do you define real? If you're talking about what you can hear, what you can smell, taste and feel then real is simply electrical signals interpreted by your brain."

Is that it? It is perhaps oversimplified in words - but what it covers is perhaps just about everything we know, everything that we 'think' we are capable of doing, everything that we think we have done. I am not speaking about the matrix. But a concept similar - one where - we can't be sure of what is reality.

I can explain this with a few commonly heard examples - which have to be amplified to a certain extent.

"Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder".

My explanation may not be the best - but - it easily translates to "We love to see what we want to see'.

"My God is the right God".

Many say that, like I say there is no God, it is perspective. Religions have no proof but a book written many many centuries ago - depending on whichever religion saying that it is right and implicitly meaning the rest to be wrong. My point here is not religion - but perspective.

How do I know if this world exists only just in my imagination? That this computer itself doesn't exist - that you, my dear reader, are only a figment of my imagination? That I myself don't look me? What if the 'mental projection of my digital self' is wrong?

To twist things further - in my thoughts - you think -that I am thinking about you thinking about what I've written on this blog which itself is probably not real... heh... its an endless spiral..

We have defined our world in 3 dimensions - maybe 4 or sometimes 11, even 26 to support our theories about our world - but those are not the rules of the 'apparently real' universe. We have created a translation of those rules so that we can understand how to obey them.

Our world is a result of our thoughts - maybe we all exist in a matrix - our thought processes overlapping each others creating complex relations - mix of love n hate, laughter n sorrow, genius n idiocy, real n unreal. I don't know.

'Reality' becomes a scary situation when you think about it. It is not as simple as we just usually don't care about it. Maybe we don't have to, as we, atleast now, can only define it by our sense of taste, smell, vision, touch, sound. Our dimensions are bound there. A reality defined by years, centuries, millenniums . ages of understanding - evolving from atoms, to become entities which question our own existence.

What would prove that all this is real? What is the truth about us? Who are we? Why are we here? Where is this going to end? Does it end? Are we prepared to realize who we are? Evolution of the most extreme kind. To know the mind of the God( - the explanation of my question is what I mean by 'knowing the mind of the God'. It is one phrase, not to be split :P)

My thoughts spiral outta control these days, a mixture of thoughts at the level of a normal human being working to earn his monthly income to live to the thoughts of a person trying keep up with relations, to the pinnacle - thoughts about who we are. The perfect mid-life crisis.

Lost in thoughts of where I am headed.

I took the red pill, I am going to find out how deep the rabbit hole really goes...
Tumbling down, breaking a bone or two, reeling in chaotic thoughts, to the point where I know I am free.

In chaos, I find order...
In the enigmatic. I find clarity...
In complexity, I see arising simplicity...
In the unreal, I find the astonishing possibility of reality...

The real has become a matter of perspective. Absolute is a word that is relative in itself.

I find myself being asked these questions:
"Why, Mr. Anderson? Why, why, why? Why do you do it? Why, why get up? Why keep fighting? Do you believe you're fighting for something, for more than your survival? Can you tell me what it is, do you even know? Is it freedom, or truth, perhaps peace or could it be for love? Illusions, Mr. Anderson, vagaries of perception. Temporary constructs of a feeble human intellect trying desperately to justify it's existence that is without any meaning or purpose! And all of them as artificial as the matrix itself. Although only a human mind could invent something as insipid as love. You must be able to see it Mr. Anderson, you must know it by now. You can't win, it's pointless to keep fighting! Why, Mr. Anderson, why? Why do you persist?".

Not exactly those words... but question built on the same idea. Why should I persist to know?...
...there is only one realization: "Know Thyself".

It is inevitable.... We are only as real as we think we are.

March 26, 2008


The cause for this blog is a random transience due to lack of sleep (thanks to my work! :|). Read at your leisure.

The Architect: "...Your five predecessors were, by design, based on a similar predication: a contingent affirmation that was meant to create a profound attachment to the rest of your species, facilitating the function of the One. While the others experienced this in a general way, your experience is far more specific. Vis-à-vis: love.

: Trinity.

The Architect
: Apropos, she entered the Matrix to save your life at the cost of her own.

: No.

The Architect
: Which brings us at last to the moment of truth, wherein the fundamental flaw is ultimately expressed, and the Anomaly revealed as both beginning and end. There are two doors. The door to your right leads to the Source and the salvation of Zion. The door to your left leads back to the Matrix, to her and to the end of your species. As you adequately put, the problem is choice. But we already know what you are going to do, don't we? Already I can see the chain reaction: the chemical precursors that signal the onset of an emotion, designed specifically to overwhelm logic and reason. An emotion that is already blinding you to the simple and obvious truth: she is going to die and there is nothing you can do to stop it.

[Neo turns and walks to his left.]

The Architect
: Hope. It is the quintessential human delusion, simultaneously the source of your greatest strength, and your greatest weakness.

Ok, enough of the matrix. I was just trying to portray the most basic human nature. Love. I don't know why I want to do it now... maybe it is choice.

How do you define love? It was a rhetoric; don't bother. Each of us have our own reason for it. We love at different levels, in different ways with different people.

Love for our parents, our siblings, that special someone, friends, work... many...
One so strong that it makes us weak...
One so bright that it blinds us...
One so simple that its complexity is beyond definition...
A silence that is so loud...
It makes us do what we would never do otherwise.

Why does it appear to have an influence on each of us that has a shade of negativity attached to it? Maybe we are putting a boundary, a restraint making ourselves feel like a caged animal. Probably. As when it applies to our work - if we love doing what we do - then there are no limits. From my case- love for riding frees me of the fear of meeting with accident, hell, even making a mistake. We become unlimited in our way. So much energy when let free, when we follow what we love, its exhilarating.

But. Still we limit. We feel we have our obligation to (for e.g.) society that we have to be doing certain things to be in that acceptable bracket. Insanity, as others call it, is the very love that I/We want to live in n live by - it is what I/we love do - mine/our perfect world, utopia. But, gaaah.... we limit ourselves. Why? Who do we have to impress? Our family? Our friends? People unknown to us? God? I definitely don't have the last two. My family knows me, they know I am to everyone as I am to them. My friends - they ought to understand that! Well, they do! But still I am restraining myself. Is it just that I am holding off from myself?

There is some bit of fear left in me, I guess. That fear of losing someone or something still exists. Just an inch. That's all that remains. Should I break it? All I need to do is face it. But that doubt itself stops me. I guess it's that very fear that is making me write this blog which resembles an 'avial' of many like 'Jonathan Livingston Seagull', 'The matrix',.. I dunno others... there might be!

Though not perfect in the context, I still ask - why people shy away from facing what they fear or are disturbed by. That's all it takes.

There is another PoV on what love is. It's about what we love. 'Semper fi!!', they would cry out loud about what they love. Is love always good? how much of it is left to perspective? It is always good to the one who has it and it is about perspective to others. In that lies all the happiness and sadness on planet earth. and perhaps if there are other forms of life which are 'capable of feeling' - there too.

This rather vague blog just ends here as I am sleepy...
Feel free to leave a comment. :)

'Hope. It is the quintessential human feeling, simultaneously the source of my greatest strength, and my greatest weakness'


February 25, 2008

It is about the bike.

[Foo Fighters - Best of you]

Its been a year and 2 months now since I brought my 1st bike. Well, don't read between the lines ... I have only 1 bike! :D :P ....

[RHCP - Under the bridge]
Jan'07, 23rd - I brought the new model Pulsar 150 with all the fancy digi meter, improved engine performance n all that ... now its 17th March'08. I have done 8500+ kms, gone for 2 trips... - one home, a crazy, fun-filled 500+ kms journey (one-way) and a trip to Ooty(2 weeks back... will be blogging on that later...). I have been commuting to office almost daily except when my n my roomie are going by his car - the count, which, is waay lesser than the bike's. I have been using it for a lotta trips around the city on the weekends. I have met with 2 minor accidents - one where an auto smashed into the rear when I was waiting to turn n the other was when a retard came through the wrong side and locked up with my bike's crash gaurd taking me down. The total cost of repairs - < 2500/-. The bike returns a decent 50km/l considering that I weigh in around 100kgs. :D

[ATB - Justify]

So, that Jan started a special relationship. One of a kind which only a true biker would understand. I read on another biker's blog - it's something like love. It's something a relation between a master and his/her dog. Also it's something like the always heard relationship type - boyfriend-girlfriend (who are committed to each other :P). The idea to be derived from the 1st is that of being a best friend. From the 2nd, it would the idea of trusting each other.

[Armin Van Buuren - If you should go]

My 2 long trips - which would easily take up 12.5% of the entire mileage of the bike. It hasn't failed me. I ride it hard. I rev it in the 5-6-7k range always, I shift pretty quickly, I brake hard n accelerate hard, I try to avoid bad roads - but many a times its unavoidable, sometimes I have pillion riders who are just as heavy as I. Trust me, my bike HAS BEEN RIDDEN well. The way it's meant to be, I believe, because till now - it's not given up on performing.

[Delerium - Lost and Found]

The bike and the trips its made come true has taught me n changed me. For someone who values experience and events above book-based learning, it's been a revelation. I have learnt to control aggression, think positive (well, even more), also be patient, thinking of round-about-ways, yet ethical n clear, when the straight ones seem blocked. I am not kidding. I am not saying that other experiences in life, being in a new city, living with new friends, earning money, be free of responsibilities of being at home - all these have had a significant impact on me. But the bike and the connection I share with it, I have learned to respect speed, value life, live more by intuition and heart in conjunction with logic and clarity.

[Cranberries - Linger]

I ride pretty quick, pretty free. I have this line for my friend, who I miss a lot now, 'I live to die another day' whenever she used to tell me to ride slowly, avoid night rides. I am sure, now, I've 'graduated' to a different level of biking which has a much fewer number of bikers than the common ones who are either over cautious or are rash. I am not in the elite group - I dunno if I would rank in those. That time would tell. But I am sure a safe rider who knows how to handle the ride. (This I've been ranked among my friends, amongst most of them, to the be safest rider among those they know. Thank u for that.)

[Rammstein - Feuer Frei]

There has to be a reason, right? Or maybe not, actually. The reason is that what just comes into existence when you start to love what you do. There is something about riding that makes it so vindicating. It might be the passion for riding and travelling. But I guess, thats what we need to do. Follow what we love doing the most.

[Poets of the Fall - Lift]

Imagine this: The highway, good traffic, smooth tarmac, it's past 9PM, n that wind blasting into my eye when u speed past that relatively slow moving vehicle infront of you, flash the headlamp, hit the horn once, shift that gear down(at times), rev hard to that screaming past the 9k mark and zoom, you are past it... @ over 110kmph! Night riding is like my stronghold. I am not as badly effected by the oncoming traffic lights. This helps me maintain good speed at nights, and I know the bike like the back of my hand, I know where it would stop, how it would accelerate. I don't know it by statistics , but its the feel. It's just like how I was able to learn UT2k4 and it's timing, I just know. that's it. It makes the experience so special. The scream of the bike, my accompanying friend's on their bikes, its something so special.

[Augustana - Boston]

I guess it's also the apparent risk factor. I would call it a myth or a twisted truth at best. Biking is just a dangerous as driving a car, bus, truck, flying a plane, navigating a boat/ship. Accidents, or worse, death can happen anytime. People say bikes are dangerous, tiring and long rides should be avoided. Wrong. The way it is put is wrong. A self conscious rider, a well maintained machine reduces the risk factor by 50%. The remaining is when u are mowed down by a retarded/braindead or drunk driver or when u have a malfunctioning vehicle.

[In Flames - Cloud connected]

Biking provides a feeling of being in connection with the road, with the world where the bike and the rider are not 2 separate entities, but 1 in harmony.The bike being the extension of the feet, the handlebars being the extension of the hand, the engine being the extension of the heart ... all this making a new breed of species. An evolution of man(and woman).

[Avial - Karukare]

Attaining nirvana is when you know, and you really DO know, your brain is in complete control of this evolved specie and you push this new 'yourself' to the limit and return safe to tell the tale, every damn time! I am immensely happy with this bike. Compared to my friend's bikes - it's inferior in performance, but I love it. I am not going to change this one nowhere in the coming 2 years.

"Live to Ride and Ride to Live" :)

Dedicated to all true bikers out there!.


1. Always wear the helmet when u ride the bike.
2. Just as a faq - my favourite bike - easy, Yamaha R1.

A few pics: That's me with the bike.

Thats taken @ 110kmph.

Oh, it's 2.10AM now... adios!

October 13, 2007

The weekend trip

Many a times, the most unforgettable events are set into motion in a moments notice. Many a times, a certain group of people happen to be around each other in which ones decision is immediately taken as the groups decision. Such was the one taken on friday evening @ 4.45PM.

It all looked like a very normal weekend trip home coming up on friday... all of us (Me, Arun, Pra, Shibin, Abe) planned to leave office @ 3.30PM to catch the train @ 6.50PM. Just as Praveen and myself were about to leave from office, Shibin calls up to say that there's been a HUGE mix up and that the train is at 5.15PM! This meant an emergency evac procedure to be executed by latest 4.30PM. With the cloud of impossibility looming over our heads.... we packed up all what we could, in a haste, and took the auto to the railway station. By mid way - it was clear - with the prevailing traffic conditions - it would be impossible to reach there.

[David Guetta - Love don't let me go]

Then came that one line from one of us - I don't recollect who ('Who' doesn't matter) - "Ok, if we miss the train, we head home on our bikes!". It was like everything was planned - all agreed!!!
So 'hoping' to get the train we reached the station...only to see the train just leaving the station. So close yet so far. All of us looked at each other for a moment and with a wicked grin we said - bike time! We headed back home, and meanwhile tried cancelling our tickets in hope of getting back some money. (we got 50% returned...).

The plans were set - by then - Abe's friend - Narasimha (we call him Simba) also agreed to join us. The proposed start time was 7.30PM so that we could cover max distance before it was too dark... but it all started (after dinner, heading to E-City to pick up Abe's bike papers.. etc etc...) only by 10PM.

[Enigma - Eppur Si Muove]
Then it was a like the best experience ever just set into motion - one that lasted 10 hours straight. Gruelling, but exciting. Amazing. We started off with a blast - beautiful Hosur highway lent its tarmac to us - we owned it. The pulsar's(my 150, Simba's 180 [stunning acceleration on this one!], and Abe's mighty 200) cause came full circle as each of these mean machines (for Indian conditions) screamed past the 10k RPM darting down the excellent blacktop @ over 110KMPH. Stable, damn stable, even my 150, is!.

[Moby - Porcelain]
We took our 1st break after around 80kms of rpm redlining. ( :) ). I kept to riding my bike even when Arun n Simba switched rider-pillion positions. The road got a bit tricky as it was just a 2 lane highway to hell from there on. Our average speeds dropped to 60 for the next 80kms or so.

The pace picked up once we were around 80kms away from Salem. In between which Abe also switched riding seats with Shibin. I still continued to ride the 150CC hellhound ;). Now the total distance covered was around 180kms. Still nearly 320 to go...

The roads became a lot better again on route from Salem to Coimbatore.... speeds staying in the 80kmph region. Beautiful roads, I say!

[Quake Video-Mercurial - playing it for the tracks ;) ]
We were riding at a pace better than even the normal volvo buses that run at that time. Staying around half hour ahead of their time. >:).
We reached the by-pass to palghat so that we can avoid getting into Coimbatore.
Man, that was like the most deserted road i've ever seen and also one of the best maintained. It was deserted probably cuz it was about 4AM in the morning. There was heavy fog and when there was a vehicle coming from the other side of an incline - it produced this haunting shadows into the fog... looked damn cool...
we stopped for a snack when we around 325kms into the journey. I stopped biking for a while as my eyes looked bloodshot - my helmet doesn't have a visor :D - so all the dust from riding at such speeds doesn't really help... so for the 1st time in the trip - I gave my bike to Shibin and I hopped on as the pillion. He did a damn good job of riding staying clear off the gutters.

We reached Palghat-Trichur route at around 6AM. The route was like as if roads were built around the gutters - or worse - there were NO roads! That section - around 5kms - took nearly 1 hour with horrible early morning private bus traffic and terrible road conditions.
From there on - it was a pretty smooth ride till Trichur by-pass. We reached this point at around 7.15AM. We had a small break to stretch ourselves. From there - I took over again - but I was only about 30kms into the stint - I could feel my eyes giving away - Visibility and judgement couldn't go hand in hand as my eyes were all red from the dust allergy caused by all the biking I had done earlier. Shibin took over again. By then it was nearly 8.15AM. Necessity is the mother of inve... err - hi-speed biking, I guess - All the 3 bikes ripped through the angamaly-aluva-kalamassery-airport-seaport road-kakkanad section in under half hour and we were at Shibin's place at 8.45AM.

Now was the time when we all told our parents that we made the trip on the bikes! ;)
We got the usual dose of advice. But I guess - whatever-howmuch ever sense they make - this is one trip we learnt from! A superb experience. Now when ever I close my eyes - all I see is me overtaking some bus through the narrow highway, my bike's RPM reading 9 * 1000 RPM and the speed near to 85kmph and all I can speak about is the trip! Its the same for all 6 of us!

Btw, one key learning - your @$$ hurts like hell after sitting for a while on the bike - it's worse if you are the pillion! :D

Here are a few pics:

The start - the riders of the storm:
(Pra clicked the pic and Simba hadn't reached.)

The hounds of hell:
Thats Simba's 180, my 150, Abe's 200.

Now this was an ABSO-FRIGGING-LUTELY amazing trip!
Cheers to the 6 of us! \m/!

July 21, 2007

BrEAk LigHts

13th August 2k7.
[Microsoft-Windows Welcome music] (Search in system folder for title.wma)

Its almost 0000hrs. I had a bad day and it was due to a few reasons. First of them was the scheduled test. I was SO, SO, SO hoping that I'll be able to wind up my training with this one test. But, no, it wont. Now we have to complete some more extra stuff, take one exam on friday and ONE more the next week. Goodness... I feel like I am still in that old school/college level clearing exams... aaggghhhh!

Anyways... back to the topic... before I continue typing it out (Writer's block not helping....), let me add some music..
Blogging came to a halt after a weird problem with the net connection. Resuming the same, hope i get to complete this. Changing the title of the blog.

[Creed - One Last Breath]
Please come now I think I’m falling I’m holding on to all I think is safe It seems I found the road to nowhere And I’m trying to escape I yelled back when I heard thunder But I’m down to one last breath And with it let me say Let me say Hold me now I’m six feet from the edge and I’m thinking That maybe six feet Ain’t so far down That is my condition now. Lets go back on what all has happened. Yesterday, on my way to my friend's place - one autorikshaw fellow and Maruti Zen driver added an exclamation mark to all thats gone wrong. I dunno if more '!'s will be added on.

[Dirty Vegas -Ghosts]

Let me explain the scene. The time is around 7.15PM (1915hrs). I am riding my bike at around 35-40 (MAX) - I was going slow esp cuz I've been having a bad otherwise didn't want to invite trouble by creating an accident or something. So, I am almost at my friends place - its the main road and i have to take a right on it. Its not a junction - so I've to come to a halt on the main road - wait for the opposite side traffic to clear out so that I can cross into the small by-lane.

[Lisa Gerrad - GladiatorTheme]

I am around 100 meters from there - I have this maruti zen in front of me (The brake lights on it were not working), and I go past an autorikshaw. I move towards the centre line, put the right indicator and at that instant - the zen fellow brakes - without any indication what so ever. I am used to doing late braking myself, but this time the distance was too short and there was no indication whatsoever - coming to a dead stop in the middle of the road is not what u expect. I jam d discs and the rear brakes hard and I come to a stop, just kissing the zen in front. But in the NEXT second - this autorick fellow - supposedly had accelerated after i had crossed him - his auto didnt stand a chance to brake that quick - rammed straight into my bikes brake light console, smashing the beautiful LED light array and the carbon fibre surrounding it. AGGGRRHH!

[Gregorian Version - U2 -With or Without You]

I have never damaged my bike and I drive quick, but now - after riding slow, taking precautions, I get my bike into this condition. GOODNESS! After a brief 'talk' with the auto fellow - the gathered ppl were, surprisingly, on my side on this. Even a few auto drivers at the auto stand rite next to where this happened supported my case. But then - how much can a auto driver pay me? and that poor fools auto's front right was totally dented inwards. I have no idea how my bike's carbon fibre to that to the auto. Probably it was that sharp edge creating an impluse reaction on the auto's body. So I went left from there, dragged the bike to my friend's place. Was there for a while. Then headed back by around 9.15PM (2115hrs). Anyways, now I stand to pay around 3~4k on my 'brEAk' light assembly. I have minimum hopes on getting an insurance cover for this. Well that was yesterday.

[INXS- Afterglow]

Last two weeks - sleep's been minimal. The fun at home has now been stepped up with 4 systems being on LAN and the CS craze keeps going up. Sleep at 1AM And I wake up by 8AM. A total loss of around 3hours over the usual that I sleep. Its been taking its toll. Its not that I sleep just 7 hrs a day, uh-huh, its because I've been doing a lotta work in between. Not just office. These two weeks - I've rarely had time to think for myself, to go thru things that haven't been going all that well.

[Moby - We are all made of stars]

To top it all - the office work has become
SO boring that I don't feel like visiting the office, the training - something that all of us want to get over with, just ISN'T getting over. DAMN!

[Sting and Alanis Morisette - King of Pain]

I've been thinking these days - ok, this one is on a tangent - a generation gap - it seems SO evident now. How different our thinking is from theirs. Is it wrong - what we follow? or are we the ones who are right? Change has been ruthless here. It isn't a curve - but a step. A total shift. Like - in every field - friends, relationships, money handling, driving, everything... its so different. I haven't felt that extreme a difference in my own case, but with 90% of my friends - thats been how it is. .from our point of view - what our parents, relatives say - on many topics - is quite hard to align to. Its 'oldish'.

Are they really wrong? I dunno. Its a matter of perspective, I say. Its got a lot to do with society we have been brought up in, our beliefs.

29th August 2007. 2334Hrs.
[P.O.D- Youth of the nation]
This song is one hell of reminder of how our generation has lost its path somewhere ....

30th September 2007. 2319 Hrs.
[Gregorian Chant - Angels (Cover of Robbie Williams - Angels]

Ok, now I just read up on what I had typed out earlier... somethings have changed. My work is way better than what it used to be 1 month back. Though I still hate that I was made to cancel my vacation in the last week of Aug for Onam, I am beginning to like what I'm doing. No, it ain't challenging. It is time consuming, but keeps me engaged in a good way.

[U2-I still haven't found what I'm looking for]

... now I'm home, enjoying a four day holiday. It feels good to be home. I have taken a few important decisions for the near future. GRE takes a back seat for now. I will be applying for a re-exam in 2 months from now. I am going to continue working in accenture for some more time. On another note - i'm planning to buy a new comp for myself at the end of feb or latest by end of march. :). heh...
I have a few bets to take care off - ones which I can't afford to lose. Need to start working out for that now. Literally. :D

So thats like a tight schedule coming up for the next 3 months.... :D
Rounding up this blog...


July 4, 2007

Now What?

I am back to blogging... finally got the net connection I was so cribbing for, at my place, here in b'lore. But now that I have the net conn, my friends laptop, most of my music, my mouse, my headset, my space.... I had ideas... yes... big ones - but now - when I finally have the time to key them down - i just get lost.

[James Newton - London (Blood Diamond OST]

I don't know what I am going to type further.... I am having a boring time in office ... my work doesn't seem to interest me at all - its something like report generation - never knew it was so much like arranging stuff on a webpage. Its boring, time consuming, coma-inducing for my brain cells- I am losing my speed to calculate.. damn. Oh well.. that goes on... it will for a few more months before I find somewhere better. (not that I have anything against my company's work culture - its just not for me).

[Sting & Alanis Morisette - King of Pain]

I had a plan to write about our planet and all the natural disasters(global warming related) and where we are heading, about our outlook towards life, about our attitude towards others, how it is all connected. I get these funny thoughts - all of them connecting well - but I am kinda unlucky that they come to me when I am least prepared to even take them down on my phone.

[DJ Tiesto & Armin Van Buuren - Wonder]

Right now I just watched an incredible video of Top Gear's James May take the Bugatti Veyron to an incredible 407kmph.. the luckiest jobs these guys have, imo. and listening to this pacey trance track - just makes me want to sit here and actually type the blog I want to... but sleep takes over.

[Armin Van Buuren - Time to say Goodbye]
So hopefully tomm, I shall blog.
Till then,

April 25, 2007

I am required to kill, so I kill and thats enough.

Said the general - Maximus, the invincible. the gladiator. With those words, I re-start this blog.

Listening to "Leave no man behind" (Black Hawk Down O.S.T by Hans Zimmer).

Its been so long since I've blogged and I am having this major writer's block. Anyways.. typing in whatever is coming into my mind, as has been the case with all previous blogs. :D. So, here goes...

Its been 8months since I've come here - the IT city - the Air-Conditioned city - the beer capital - the 2nd most polluted city in India - 10th in Asia - Bengalooru (Bangalore as I prefer to call it). Joined Accenture on 18th sept'06. Training started on my b'day - 20th sept. I remember meeting my 1st friends, right from the induction program - Tom and Sabin. (The 2 other people I knew before I joined were - Suman and Nimisha). Life has been VERY smooth from then on. Never had hiccups - yes - perspective - I've never seen anything that has happened to be anything 'negative' (for some who might have a slightly different opinion :D). Was living as a paying guest for 6 months; and eventually moved in with 4 other Accenture-mates and good friends - Arun, Arindam, Gebin and Praveen - we call ourselves the BoW - Brotherhood of Wolves. hehe.. yeah.. just a funky name - we are one crazy group - crazy in every sense sans drinks n the likes. Crazy enough to play football inside the house with a proper, probably FIFA approve-able, football @ 11pm (mind you, its a flat - people stay above our floor, below our floor, next door, neighbouring flats.. )... play badminton @ 12AM, outside, play Heavy metal music (yep - likes of Metallica n Rammstein) early in the morning - 7AM, late night bike rides (ok, this might be common for some b'lore-ed crowd.), anyways... the point is - LIFE HAS been AND IS good. I am enjoying life, my way. No restriction, answerable to no1 except myself (technically only) - but I do maintain the 'decorum' (as me n Gangu used to say it in class... "please people, maintain the decorum..." :D .. and we were the 1st to break it.). Made a lotta new friends. Some really good ones.

Thats like the gist of the last 8 months. (Oh ya.. I do have my own bike now :D, if u didn't know).

I changed the song - "Pain of Salvation - A Trace of Blood".

I just sometimes get lost in all the thoughts - you know - how things have been - all the good times - nostalgia hits me hard - well, thats the way things are and I am not going into it anymore. Have blogged enough on that, imo. Funnily (according to some people who know me) - the b'lore life hasn't really changed me much - still the soft spoken, a bit shy, yet slightly obsessive, sometimes maddeningly positive n tension free character.

Song:"Metallica - Fade to Black"

Something about my job -
Accenture IS a good place to work - NO doubt. Its work environs are WAY better n much less taxing than any other IT service company. I am lucky to have got a really inspiring supervisor. But I am not really happy - My tastes lie in 'programming' and NOT in 'coding'. But coding is all that happens in such companies.Thats basically the reason why I names the blog so. - which in my case, translates to - "I am require to work, so I do and thats enough". But then, lucky nevertheless - have the best of the lot. :)
Work starts at 9AM ( I reach at 10), goes on till 6( ya.. I leave only AFTER 6.. ^_^).
Hit the gym daily ( which is true till mid April or so, after which - I have been a bit lazy... :D.. getting back into the routine slowly). Reach back at around 8.30pm. This is the routine n I am neither too happy nor sad about it.

Song: "Parikrama - But It Rained"

Other happenings:
1) a Coorg Trip - This was just amazing - It was a trip we - the 18th sept '06 batch - organized n went for. 2 Days. It was a absolute blast - it was the college batch atmosphere tat prevailed. Bus journey marked well with music/dance then in the night - there were groups - a few speaking on 'ghosts stories.. oh the creepy ones... the scary ones... all o them'... then another which fell asleep... then a few (which included me) - listening n singing (if u can call it singing.. he he) as Tommy played away with the guitar. Reaching coorg at the rite time was the best part - JUST before sunrise. We have captured some great pics of the sunrise on the cams, but its nothing like being there and just feeling it. Then came the trek... just awesome. I can go on forever on that. H eh. In the night we had a camp fire and a few games ... celebrated b'days of 3 of our dearest ones among the group - Tommy, Sabin and Rangu sir.

2. SCREEEAAAMMMM FOR ME NOW, BANGALORE! - the iron maiden concert. Bruce Dickinson had the crowd in a trance-ing frenzy - all of us head banging to their songs. My good, non-existent, GOD.. it was a HYPER EVENT! I had a strained neck for the next 3 days. They played MOST of their greatest hits plus a few from their new album. The ones which should've been added is aces high, wasted years ... well .. um.. Alexander the great ... rime of the ancient mariner... well.. a lot more! he he.. we, maiden maniacs, can never have enough! :D

Those were 2 major events that happened. Life just flowing in the high gear.

Song : "Lamb of God - 11th Hour"

Sometimes I wonder - am I just living on? is this really what I want? I dunno what I would want otherwise tho. But life is moving at a really quick pace, alright. and I have to check out what to do with my M.S. Want to do a lot more things - travel - thats one of the main priorities, protracted searches left me in the afterglow- somethings have left me lost. Some have made me understand myself, my friends, my surroundings, my world - a lot more.

Well, thats about it. Its the birth of a new age -a new phase in life - an age of understanding - an age of freedom - an age where things move at the speed of thought - I am at yet another juncture in life - any turn I take - is leads me to yet another - a sinister set of recursive turns - yeah - life is all about choosing the rite ones, relative to each one.

Song : " Iron Maiden - Alexander the great"
Maybe I 'll blog on a certain thought process that keeps running in my mind. It confirms my understanding of the world around me. But I am not able to pen it down - its way too complicated - as it just flashes in me - bits n pieces of the entire idea.

Ok, Have some rantings about b'lore -
1. Its getting frigging hot.
2. Its traffic is maddening - it gets worse by the hour (not even 'by the day')
3. Being the 2nd most polluted city is nothing to be happy about
4. Its expensive... not I am not being stingy here. It seriously is. But then - such extra costs are always attached to the 'big cities'.
5.The 'malls' have lost their value - its more of a fish market than a mall. its SO packed on weekends.
6.The city is a COMPLETE DISASTER if it rains - the drainage system overflows, the city gets congested, the traffic just stops. But if u are at home when its raining - its beautiful to watch and its really a good time. :D
7. People are 'more' easily influenced by religious sentiments than what I've seen in Kerala.
8. My mobile phone bill is sky-rocketing!

Song: "Dashboard Confessional - Vindicated"

The good points -
1. Have most of my good old friends here.
2. The new ones too. :D
3. Freedom - no1 really bothers what you do. - as in, in ekm - people comment unnecessarily about what you do. Nothing like that here.
4. Options for everything - Stuff like food, movie theaters, hang out places, dress, watches... name it ... EVERYTHING is available.
5. Getting to know different people - b'lore is a hub for IT and people from all over the globe live here. and getting to know such people - esp in work environs and also outside - u learn a lot.

Anyways.. thats about it for now.

Shall blog more frequently henceforth.

Off to do some 'free-biking'... he he...
:)>- n \m/