I had it coming. I knew it the moment I opened my notebook. It was exam time. and this time I knew there was no hope. I tried. I tried hard to learn n understand as much as i can. but again time was against me. I had n have NO 1 to blame. My fault. My mistake. And I am not going to fall to my knees and pray for mercy. I am going to set things RIGHT. Myself.
As an safe measure I have done a few things:
1.) Switchin off my phone during evening hours
I am a sms junkie.. or watever u call ppl who do 60 smss an hour or more.. wit real easy. I think that has been really a big factor in me spending time chattin wit friends and not studyin when I should've been.
2.) Keeping the net down.
again.. a chat machine. I chat almost as much as I talk. tat too takes ... no ..EATS away at my time. Cut tat down by a big margin.
3.) the BIGGEST one o em all - Uninstalled UT.
for those who dunno... some o my friends say - its more important to me than water or fresh air. ..well not TAT important. but it was like a part o me. A part o me tat makes me calm. Playin used to take away all my anger, it used to ease my pain. my drug.
but i think too much o anything wud, infact, harm me... any1 for tat matter. It has. BIG time. I used to like play 3-4 games a day. easily adding up to 2 hrs.. including the chat for server address.. map selection, chat in game, waiting times, server rehosting due to lag, practice session before match. There.. 2 hours a day for gaming when i barely had time to do my daily portions.
I sleep by 10-10.30 .. or max 11. I mite sit up late if i am chattin wit my friends. else no. I dont, DEFINITELY , study after 10 pm. So the only time I have is 7-9 when I am home. and i am not allowed to sit infront o the comp after 10.30 usually. so there u go.. do the math. I HAVEN'T BEEN STUDYIN A WORD. since jan.
the end result - i failed in 4 outta 6 papers. My WORST performance. one tat i am DEFINTELY NOT proud off. I have never been this bad at exams. mainly its cuz I am a person who grasps topics easily and to get a pass or even 60% .. i need to jus pay attention to class lectures. atleast tats the way its been for the last 18 yrs .. since i started my LKG. 18, is it? aah.. anyways. ( i havent failed a year yet.. so make the correct count.. :P) ..
.. and this is exactly the reason for my poor performance THIS sem. never been payin attention to class. distracted. and upset over few things.
Now, watever has happened has happened. I am glad my parents and teachers have been really supportive of me and are helping me get over all this. I have started studying. really.
today i am taking a break. Sitting down. reading a book - "the case for faith". My friend gave this to me. Seems like she felt there were a few things wrong in my "god blog". Interesting book. Jus 40 pages into it. I already have a few questions of my own.. tat I think the author has missed out on. Maybe he does indeed asks those q's and find answers. Let me see. YEAH!.. I WILL BLOG abt tat after I am thru. Expect tat one by 9th o april.
Listening to "I still havent found wat i am looking for" by u2. Nice song. Neat, meaningful lyrics. I dunno .. having this addiction to lyrics these days. Been listenin to rather more o soft songs than my usual dose o heavy metal. I am changing all over. and I am only happy tat I am doing it myself. Have understood my mistakes, learnt em, now correcting the same.
"
I have climbed highest mountain
I have run through the fields
Only to be with you
Only to be with you
I have run
I have crawled
I have scaled these city walls
These city walls
Only to be with you
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
"
- U2.
btw, I WILL be back in gaming the DAY my final year exams are over. and I am going to raise hell.
: ) > -
the >:) signing off.
March 11, 2006
Inevitable changes.
March 2, 2006
Breakpoint function
So, are you breathing
Wake up, are you alive
Will you listen to me
I'm gonna talk about some freaky shit now
Someone is gonna die
When you listen to me
Let the living die, Let the living die
(voices - disturbed)
Frustration! anger.. i dunno what i am feeling...
Nothin has been rite for a few days now.. horrible weather... UNBELIEVABLY UNUSUALLY BORING CLASSES ... bad time all around.. ( a few things i am not mentioning here as well)... and today was another BLEAAAAGRRH of a day.. my god.. going totally insane...
Push my fingers into my eyes...
It's the only thing that slowly stops the ache...
But it's made of all the things I am today...
Jesus, it never ends, it works it's way inside...
If the pain goes on...
Aaaaaaaah!
Perfect! ... I am going insane.. life aint fair... ya.. many mite say its not.. and tat we have to fight it.. watever.. true.. but this isnt JUS UNFAIR.. its GROSSLY unfair... NOW don ask me why... i am fixing it up...
there is another blog i am workin on... tat wil come up later..
this one is jus to put my anger out...
today went playin ... MY god.. i dunno.. FRIGGIN ADL or STUPID NEW MICROSOFT KEYBOARD... it JUS WUDNT respond even as much as my prev broken keyboard wud (which i had used.. no... slammed around for the last 2 years) ...
then another thing - the STUPID MORONIC OFFICE Staff wont get me my marklists attested. okai.. the reason - simply put - for my GRE thingy...
then the bus strikes.. omFg.. all this is CRAZY.. wat the hell is wrong wit everything??
me all off the hook... pray no1 comes arguing wit me over the net now... atleast for today... else he/she is a goner... :| ...
(yup.. this one is very random ... and i usually don lose my cool... but rite now.. i have no idea wat i am abt to do the very next second... )
All I've got...all I've got is insane...
All I've got...all I've got is insane...
All I've got...all I've got is insane!
All I've got...all I've got is insane!
I push my fingers into my eyes
It's the only thing that slowly stops the ache
But it's made of all the thing I have to take
Jesus, it never ends, it works it's way inside
If the pain goes on,
I'm not gonna make it!
Rarely i am like this... and its not going good... not helping...
oh well.. jus a blog to release the madness..
>:)>-!!
Can't you imagine how good going through this will make you feel
I promise, no one will ever know
There will be no chance of you getting caught
They never loved you anyway
So come on, be a man
NO.. i am rarely like this..... :-<
And do what I are compelled to do
February 17, 2006
The tag of hate......
" Get up, come on get down with the sickness
Open up your hate, and let it flow into me
Get up, come on get down with the sickness
You mother get up
Come on get down with the sickness
You f**ker get up
Come on get down with the sickness
Madness is the gift, that has been given to me"
- Down with the sickness by Disturbed.
now, I dunno exactly why i put tat chorus part there... but somehow it suits the situation.... and the situation is tat i have been tagged by GDP.
...err.. no no... not mad at him.. but the tag this time is for bloggin abt things i hate/dislike.
I am not too sure how many such things are there... lets find out... these arent in any order of "preference" (if u may call it so)... jus typing em down as it comes to my mind... okai.. lets get started.. (puttin on tat song ... >:)! )
=> Dishonesty - ABSOLUTELY HATE IT. No compromise on tat .. I mite not react.. but trust me.. that relation is over for sure.
=> Talking behind the back - Now, tats so lame... aint it?? no guts? BAH.. suxOr. If u got somethin to say.. SAY it on my face... be a man! (ohkai.. if u are a girl... then... stil applies... not the "be a man" part tho :P! .. so either way.. SAY IT!)..
=> Ppl who make comments unnecessarily - I did say, I keep away from em... I am really mild mannered.. very calm.. but once I lose it... no control.. anything goes.. I rarely regret somethin I do. Come on, wats the need to comment on things jus like tat .. esp when it has nothin to do wit em??
=> Okai, coming to the state o the city n all... jus like tat... as it comes in things i hate - The traffic... FRACK!!!!!!!! OMG, cant ppl jus drive wit sense????? either they drive as if its time for them to leave planet earth and determined to take a few along wit em... or they drive as if time has slowed down for them... :|... OMG!!!
=> Oh this is an easy one - POLITICIANS!!! =)) AND X-( .. these mofo's... i did say 99% o em.. to the rest 1% - i am sorry.. ur achievements are MORE THAN OVERSHADOWED by the rest... sad case. :(.
Jus take this - the city is already friggin full wit traffics.. and in the rush hours.. on the main roads... they have march/protests... retards! :|. and now the next month, the congress / bjp .. i don a f anyways, they are having some political rally here... rite when we cant even drive around properly.. dear me.. why are ppl actually supporting all this CRAP?
=> Beliefs - Okai, now this... I believe in somethin... u can read the blog below for tat... and I don press my belief on any1... And its better to leave one to theirs... I've seen ppl sayin tat they are rite abt their religion, their faith - BULLSHIT... none it is proven.. who the frack can say they are rite? For me, I believe in Truth . I don believe in religion cuz what is being practiced today.. atleast as far as i can see it.. is a waste o time.. and NOT wat the real books on those religions say.
=> Coming to computers - I hate slow PCs, cluttered desktops, bad-tracking mice, broken keyboards, screwed up headsets or bad speakers... dark monitors... hehehe..
=> in gaming... i hate cheaters/haxOrs, ppl who play wit a negative attitude REALLLLY take it from me...
=> ppl who show jada.. no need to explain...
=> I hate answering more than a page in my b.tech papers... =)) .. i am very much to the point... i am not the one who goes around the bush ... and writes long answers... i answer, like spawn says - "short and l337"!!.. but friggin problem is tat i don get enough marks to justify my capablities... one thing is the answers are short.. but they DO contain the points... and M.G univ gives marks like as if they weigh it and then put the marks :|.
=>I HATE ppl saying Gaming is for kids... I can write an entire blog sayin why its not.. i wil.. maybe SOME1 mite get it into their heads...
=> I hate the tamil movies... esp the new ones... and HINDI - ~X(!!!!!!!!!!!!! the new movies ... except "rang de basanti" and "swades"... rest - HYPERSUX0R!!!!!!!
=> Hate BSB and shitty music like tat...
=> Hate Mallu "mega" serials...
Okai.. tats abt it... if any.. i'll add em below this line!
next tag - spawn. :D
peace ppl...
adios...
:)>-
February 11, 2006
She is the one...
Was tagged by Sp^wN. Rules:
1. The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of their perfect lover.
2. Need to mention the sex of the target.
3. Tag 8 victims have to join this game & leave a comment on their comments saying they’ve been tagged. (hehehe)
4. If tagged the 2nd time, there’s no need to post again. (DUUH!!!)
This tough... hmmm.. getting down to think ...
(10 mins later, the keyboard is pressed...)
this person wil be referred to as 'she' (sorry spawn... cudnt think o another way to address the person atm :"> ;D)
as usual... this is going to be short.
=> She has to be honest... and yes.. there is NO compromise on that. absolutely straightforward, in-the-face type honesty.. no holding back. Its the way i am and i would like 'she' to be like that too. There are very few things that do make me really angry.. and one o that is dishonesty... and also shying away from telling somethin that has to be. Cuz thats one o the reasons relations break up. gets on my nerve ... she has to be clear on what she says, and shouldn't keep ANYTHING away from me. so thats point one - honest.
=> Should i say she should be pretty? that wud be a stupid statement... "beauty lies in the eye o the beholder" .. well she WUD DEFINITELY be pretty ..very pretty, atleast in my eyes, if i were to fall for her. ;)) ...
=> Faith - Free to believe what ever 'she' believes in. Follow ANY religion. But shouldnt, EVER, try to force it on me. It wont work. again one o those things i am a bit inflexible on. But nothin will stop her from following what she wants to.
=> NO smoking or drinking habits. No need to explain that. hehe
=> Should love to travel, with me of course. Not tat i am a multi millionaire who can take a trip around the world any day i want.. But i love travelling.. and going around places. So whenever such trips come around, she should be happy to be along. Even the walk on beach durin sunset, or, u know, those beautiful quiet roads, those - yeah...
=> Music- this can be as sensitive as faith thingy. I generally dont listen to malayalam music OR any o the new hindi movie songs.. they make me go :-& : ~X( ... even a few english artists like bsb. Not tat she has to be a fan o what i listen to - which is rather techno/trance/heavy metal to soft music and a few , yes VERY FEW, hindi songs. so she should be one who has some common tastes.
=> Dressing up and styling - Well upto her... she shouldnt be all the saree/salwar type... nor should she be one who spends more time at the beauty parlour than with me.. natural beauty is what appeals to me, and she wud look good without any make up.. sure abt tat!
(oh and she rather have long silky hair.... i myself have tho not REALLY long.. it is long enough.. and she cud really get jealous o tat ... hehehehe.. i cudnt keep that one down )...
=> Towards other guys -Wudnt mind her talking to other guys unless it gets ..u know.. otherthan that - i am cool wit that. no problems.
=> Computer related- "I'm talkin' keyboard bangin' multitaskin' RAM burnin' HARDCORE USER CHICK!!! >:)" (hehehe.. this one line i picked straight from spawn's..perfect explanation o what i wud look for too)... and may i even say she should have some fragging skills??? teehee... okai.. that IS a bit too much to ask for... hell, i wont have time to play n all when i am wit her, will i??? hehe...
Well.. thats abt it. Oh now i guess i have to tag some1 else? - well... i got jus one person to tag - i dunno if he wud accept it - anyways - Ashwin E, u are on!! :D
I am not the one who falls for any1 i see jus like tat. . i take my time.. but once i am sure, i wudnt have any problems telling her.
Hope i'll find her someday..... hehe.. i will.
peace. out.
:)>-
1. The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of their perfect lover.
2. Need to mention the sex of the target.
3. Tag 8 victims have to join this game & leave a comment on their comments saying they’ve been tagged. (hehehe)
4. If tagged the 2nd time, there’s no need to post again. (DUUH!!!)
This tough... hmmm.. getting down to think ...
(10 mins later, the keyboard is pressed...)
this person wil be referred to as 'she' (sorry spawn... cudnt think o another way to address the person atm :"> ;D)
as usual... this is going to be short.
=> She has to be honest... and yes.. there is NO compromise on that. absolutely straightforward, in-the-face type honesty.. no holding back. Its the way i am and i would like 'she' to be like that too. There are very few things that do make me really angry.. and one o that is dishonesty... and also shying away from telling somethin that has to be. Cuz thats one o the reasons relations break up. gets on my nerve ... she has to be clear on what she says, and shouldn't keep ANYTHING away from me. so thats point one - honest.
=> Should i say she should be pretty? that wud be a stupid statement... "beauty lies in the eye o the beholder" .. well she WUD DEFINITELY be pretty ..very pretty, atleast in my eyes, if i were to fall for her. ;)) ...
=> Faith - Free to believe what ever 'she' believes in. Follow ANY religion. But shouldnt, EVER, try to force it on me. It wont work. again one o those things i am a bit inflexible on. But nothin will stop her from following what she wants to.
=> NO smoking or drinking habits. No need to explain that. hehe
=> Should love to travel, with me of course. Not tat i am a multi millionaire who can take a trip around the world any day i want.. But i love travelling.. and going around places. So whenever such trips come around, she should be happy to be along. Even the walk on beach durin sunset, or, u know, those beautiful quiet roads, those - yeah...
=> Music- this can be as sensitive as faith thingy. I generally dont listen to malayalam music OR any o the new hindi movie songs.. they make me go :-& : ~X( ... even a few english artists like bsb. Not tat she has to be a fan o what i listen to - which is rather techno/trance/heavy metal to soft music and a few , yes VERY FEW, hindi songs. so she should be one who has some common tastes.
=> Dressing up and styling - Well upto her... she shouldnt be all the saree/salwar type... nor should she be one who spends more time at the beauty parlour than with me.. natural beauty is what appeals to me, and she wud look good without any make up.. sure abt tat!
(oh and she rather have long silky hair.... i myself have tho not REALLY long.. it is long enough.. and she cud really get jealous o tat ... hehehehe.. i cudnt keep that one down )...
=> Towards other guys -Wudnt mind her talking to other guys unless it gets ..u know.. otherthan that - i am cool wit that. no problems.
=> Computer related- "I'm talkin' keyboard bangin' multitaskin' RAM burnin' HARDCORE USER CHICK!!! >:)" (hehehe.. this one line i picked straight from spawn's..perfect explanation o what i wud look for too)... and may i even say she should have some fragging skills??? teehee... okai.. that IS a bit too much to ask for... hell, i wont have time to play n all when i am wit her, will i??? hehe...
Well.. thats abt it. Oh now i guess i have to tag some1 else? - well... i got jus one person to tag - i dunno if he wud accept it - anyways - Ashwin E, u are on!! :D
I am not the one who falls for any1 i see jus like tat. . i take my time.. but once i am sure, i wudnt have any problems telling her.
Hope i'll find her someday..... hehe.. i will.
peace. out.
:)>-
January 24, 2006
What if it all ended soon? :(
54 days n counting .... have max fun... wat the hell!!!! ..
"naaluvarsham ayi orimichu ozighi kondu erruna e puzha eni 64 ya pirum" ( translation - the river that has been flowing together for the last 4 years wil now split up into 64 parts) ...
this was that i saw today morning on the board in our class... :-<>:) .. but wat the hell ... why should we have to keep a count on all tat?? it makes me n all o the rest o em so ... sad?.. no .. an understatement.. we all go all silent when we even think o it.... the college life is coming to an end... GOD NO!!!!!!!! wat the hell!
after all ... (agent) smith was right.. always right.... (i hate that tho) .. "everything that has a beginning has an end". No.. this aint fair (again smith says that {jus a statement} ) ... but its true after all..
well.. let me jus look a lil back ... 3.5 years back.... when I joined college.. I didnt have a very fun filled school life till the 9-10th std.. no steady friends n all... and then a REALLY strong friendship in 3 guys... well.. tat made my school-life fun.. and made me feel all upset when i had to give up the school life .. and move on to college... all those 3 were in different parts o the country... was all upset for the 1st few months o coll.. never really opened up to any1 .. shy ,as i am since 20 sep 1984, never really made gr8 friends.. then eventually ... as a rule o nature.. or somethin... i did make "friends" (then... ) .. in 3 ppl... (now my best friends).. after tat .. i never really felt like i missed school.. almost forgot abt it.. not my school friends tho...
Coll life wasnt all tat hip.... well..DUH.. its rajagiri after all... year 1 did give me these 3 really good friends... then in 2nd year... i added to those 3 .. one more... these 4 ppl form the core around which i am ... (no.. not tat i don have any other friends... i am virtually connected to all o em in my class.. and many in my coll... )..
oh again... these are all random thoughts... jus typing em in as them come to my mind....
well.. its final sem now.. and it was jus tat time when all o us were gettin really close to each other ... and right when it was all perfect... this message ... AGGRRH.. a scary reminder that the fun is going to end all too soon...
some might say - "the net is there".. "we are placed in the same company" .. no... once we leave this place.. its all going to change.. all this happened when school was gettin over as well.. barely few ppl keep in touch... :|
well... guess it has to happen someday... have to enjoy it while it lasts.. ... *HUGE SIGH*..
but...
..
..
..
jus wish it stayed a bit longer......................
:)>- wit a :-<
love ya all.. whoever is reading this....
"naaluvarsham ayi orimichu ozighi kondu erruna e puzha eni 64 ya pirum" ( translation - the river that has been flowing together for the last 4 years wil now split up into 64 parts) ...
this was that i saw today morning on the board in our class... :-<>:) .. but wat the hell ... why should we have to keep a count on all tat?? it makes me n all o the rest o em so ... sad?.. no .. an understatement.. we all go all silent when we even think o it.... the college life is coming to an end... GOD NO!!!!!!!! wat the hell!
after all ... (agent) smith was right.. always right.... (i hate that tho) .. "everything that has a beginning has an end". No.. this aint fair (again smith says that {jus a statement} ) ... but its true after all..
well.. let me jus look a lil back ... 3.5 years back.... when I joined college.. I didnt have a very fun filled school life till the 9-10th std.. no steady friends n all... and then a REALLY strong friendship in 3 guys... well.. tat made my school-life fun.. and made me feel all upset when i had to give up the school life .. and move on to college... all those 3 were in different parts o the country... was all upset for the 1st few months o coll.. never really opened up to any1 .. shy ,as i am since 20 sep 1984, never really made gr8 friends.. then eventually ... as a rule o nature.. or somethin... i did make "friends" (then... ) .. in 3 ppl... (now my best friends).. after tat .. i never really felt like i missed school.. almost forgot abt it.. not my school friends tho...
Coll life wasnt all tat hip.... well..DUH.. its rajagiri after all... year 1 did give me these 3 really good friends... then in 2nd year... i added to those 3 .. one more... these 4 ppl form the core around which i am ... (no.. not tat i don have any other friends... i am virtually connected to all o em in my class.. and many in my coll... )..
oh again... these are all random thoughts... jus typing em in as them come to my mind....
well.. its final sem now.. and it was jus tat time when all o us were gettin really close to each other ... and right when it was all perfect... this message ... AGGRRH.. a scary reminder that the fun is going to end all too soon...
some might say - "the net is there".. "we are placed in the same company" .. no... once we leave this place.. its all going to change.. all this happened when school was gettin over as well.. barely few ppl keep in touch... :|
well... guess it has to happen someday... have to enjoy it while it lasts.. ... *HUGE SIGH*..
but...
..
..
..
jus wish it stayed a bit longer......................
:)>- wit a :-<
love ya all.. whoever is reading this....
January 13, 2006
The F-ing G5 mouse.
"d00d, u Fing spend Fing 4K on a Fing MOUSE????"
okai.. this is the the question (well.. variations too) i am asked always when they see me usin a black n orange colored mouse on the PC... it has a rough finish.. burnt look ... looks solid tho. this is my mouse - the logitech G5 Laser mouse.
for the uninitiated - check out this link : Logitech
this is, to an average user or newbie, a ergonomically shaped mouse that uses a LASER tracking system rather than the ball mosue from stone ages or the LED based mouse used today.. this is a mouse tat is going to be the standard of the future.
well.. plain n simple... i love technology. i brought a PC, an year ago.. i got the same q - u spend SO much on tat PC? .why?... i like havin a technology edge...
well.. coming back to the topic of the mouse.. its MADE for gaming. now again.. spending 4 k for gaming.. GOD... tats wat is probably comin to ur mind now.. well if u ask me .. its same as asking the cricket team why they use stuff that are so expensive.. u get a cricket bat for 300 bucks n also a bat tat costs 5 grand. so do u ask the same thing to a cricketer?..
okai.. another analogy... say.. u are takin an exam ... u want to get good marks ... and wanna be the best among the lot atleast. so wat can u do abt tat ...
1) study
2) have the rite stuff tat wil help u do well.. - good pen, pencils, compass, eraser, all tat...
so.. if u study well.. and don 've the rite stuff.. u can stil perform.. but definitely it wud be better if u had those. now when the students takin the exam along wit u are also equally well learned .. then the "rite stuff" wil really help.. (Obviously.. some1 wit the BEST stuff but no learnin... is going to be of no real challenege)
its somethin like tat... gaming requires a lot of skill,dedication n passion. but along wit that.. comes the need to have the rite stuff.
As i play better skilled players.. the RITE stuff helps compensate it.
Its SKILL + a good gear tat helps me be among the best i know, in person.
skill alone wil do when u are up against a weak opponent. but when ur opponent is equally skilled.. then the rite gear is needed.
so tat answers ONE part o the question i am being asked.
now there is another side to it. - money.
the mouse cost me... err.. my father - 4 grand. so is it worth it? .. well u jus gotta ask me friends who play against me.. or hell.. jus try me! and yes.. its worht every single penny spent on it.
one negative side tho - its ADDICTIVE .. it offers so much control, accuracy and the response is so fast... (to the ppl who know wat to do wit it..its not jus clicking... there is lot more, trust me.). Gaming was never more fun.
:)>-
okai.. this is the the question (well.. variations too) i am asked always when they see me usin a black n orange colored mouse on the PC... it has a rough finish.. burnt look ... looks solid tho. this is my mouse - the logitech G5 Laser mouse.
for the uninitiated - check out this link : Logitech
this is, to an average user or newbie, a ergonomically shaped mouse that uses a LASER tracking system rather than the ball mosue from stone ages or the LED based mouse used today.. this is a mouse tat is going to be the standard of the future.
well.. plain n simple... i love technology. i brought a PC, an year ago.. i got the same q - u spend SO much on tat PC? .why?... i like havin a technology edge...
well.. coming back to the topic of the mouse.. its MADE for gaming. now again.. spending 4 k for gaming.. GOD... tats wat is probably comin to ur mind now.. well if u ask me .. its same as asking the cricket team why they use stuff that are so expensive.. u get a cricket bat for 300 bucks n also a bat tat costs 5 grand. so do u ask the same thing to a cricketer?..
okai.. another analogy... say.. u are takin an exam ... u want to get good marks ... and wanna be the best among the lot atleast. so wat can u do abt tat ...
1) study
2) have the rite stuff tat wil help u do well.. - good pen, pencils, compass, eraser, all tat...
so.. if u study well.. and don 've the rite stuff.. u can stil perform.. but definitely it wud be better if u had those. now when the students takin the exam along wit u are also equally well learned .. then the "rite stuff" wil really help.. (Obviously.. some1 wit the BEST stuff but no learnin... is going to be of no real challenege)
its somethin like tat... gaming requires a lot of skill,dedication n passion. but along wit that.. comes the need to have the rite stuff.
As i play better skilled players.. the RITE stuff helps compensate it.
Its SKILL + a good gear tat helps me be among the best i know, in person.
skill alone wil do when u are up against a weak opponent. but when ur opponent is equally skilled.. then the rite gear is needed.
so tat answers ONE part o the question i am being asked.
now there is another side to it. - money.
the mouse cost me... err.. my father - 4 grand. so is it worth it? .. well u jus gotta ask me friends who play against me.. or hell.. jus try me! and yes.. its worht every single penny spent on it.
one negative side tho - its ADDICTIVE .. it offers so much control, accuracy and the response is so fast... (to the ppl who know wat to do wit it..its not jus clicking... there is lot more, trust me.). Gaming was never more fun.
:)>-
December 26, 2005
My case for faith and God.
My views on god, religion.. - a very random post.
Well, this is not, probably, going to be organised. read on.
okai, i had this chat wit 2 o my friends. The topic was the existence of God. Now, there MIGHT be (cuz i myself dunno to wat extent i'll take it) views that can be offending. and don bite back incase u don agree.
Okai, the question was WHY is there a NEED for GOD? ....
This is wat i believe - There is NO need for one. well why? .. okie .. simply cuz .. i find there is NO need for one. Is there anything we cant do without having to pray or believe tat god is doing this for us? No. i cant seem to find ONE single reason (otherthan - say - start of the universe, why the world is the way it is..)... everything else can be shown to be or proved usin our knowledge of physics, maths, .. or any other science... even art.
Then, yes... there ARE claims o miracles, our history which we shouldnt be negelecting , hmm.. which point to the reasons for existense of an almighty force... well.. let me quote a post i came across.. which was made by my friend.
"history is just something that MEN passed down through the generations, either through stories (which ARE, and always will be STORIES) or writing (again, something what some guy wrote down...u cant trust people to be completely truthful....there will always be factors left unaccounted.....like that person's mindset, personality, etc. etc.).....and have you heard about "The Dark Ages" where innocent people were burnt at the stake just because other people felt they were practicing sorcery or witchcraft?? IMO I think it was like.....the people accused of witchcraft were just a bit different from the "normal" people (normal=majority of the population, not necessarily meaning "NORMAL").....and the "normal" people just found an excuse to get rid of them. These are the kind of people who WROTE the history that you talk about. Do you really trust them NOT to distort the facts and report incidents as they happened without some of their prejudices and personal thoughts/ideas rubbing off on the "history" they recorded??
And about the "miracles".....do you really think they really ARE miracles, and not unusual coincidents that have been passed along thru da generations, each generation adding their own interpretations to it?? For example.........In hindu mythology, avatars of gods and devils took human form and fought in flying chariots, throwing thunderbolts and breathing fire. WHAT IF.........what really happened was.....a tyrant king tried to take over his neighboring territory, ruled by a just ruler.....they fought a battle and the goody-goody king won. A couple of generations later, a soldier who fought in the war saw the kings fighting in 2 chariots speeding all over the battlefield, shouting abuses @ each other and shooting a bunch of arrows. Now that soldier tells his grandson about the whole thing.....and since he can't tell the kid that the kings were actually yelling "F**K you mofo, I aint gona let u take over MA territory, Ima RIP you a NEW ONE!!!" and "Yeah, u goody goody pansy?? Im gona make you wanna get back into ur momma's T**T!!"......he tells the kid they breathed fire @ each other. And since he doesnt want to scare the kid about arrows piercing the enemy soldiers' armor and the blood oozing out n stuff like that.....he tells him that they were throwing thunderbolts @ each other. The KID grows up, believes all that the grandpa sez, and passes it on. The fact that this is an age of superstition doesn't help ONE bit.
Like the above example?? I personally think THAT'S what happened all along, with variations of course. There will always be dumbasses in every generation dumb enough to believe this shit."
that was his reply to "arent there so much tat has been passed on thru generations ..the history n miracles" ... and had i not been lazy enough to type it all.. i wud've expressed the same view.
more evidence tat can be stacked up against the need to believe in god - how much of corruption n all such evil... murder, rape, robbery, name it .. and its happening out there.. no control watso ever.. ..where is god doing anything good???
all i find ppl do is - pray, n stil.. no use!... wtH.. instead o praying, cant they jus do things that are good... somethin useful to others.. sigh... rarely happens.
Its all in the head ... its wat we think. even if we start thinking tat there is no need for god, we can still do everything we do.. and even more if we jus believe tat we can... the mind is the door, imagination is the key, and self control and a right mindset should be the guard at the door.
next up - religion - totally f-ed up, i wud say, TODAY's religions i wud say... all they seem to advocate is hatred towards other belief's, promote communal violence.. all on the name of , yeah - GOD. WTH!.. are these ppl outta their damn minds? maybe ppl should start understanding tat religion is purely man made n also tat the REAL books o each o these religions NEVER advocate tat ONLY tat religion is rite... all they say is to love one another, to live in peace n harmony wit fellow human beings. when wud ppl start understanding this??? :-<. HUMANITY IS THE REAL N ONLY RELIGION ...GET IT?? :|
not totally going against the beliefs ... there are certain positives in believing in god - like -
"People have been raised in different ways, in different corners of the planet.....the only thing that unites them all is religion, or the belief in a supreme being. you know what I mean. So, religion is not a bad thing.....if it is used to bring people together. its good to have FAITH, and use it as a crutch when you're mentally reduced to a pulp, for some reason or the other........."
- by my friend... yes... a bit lazy to type my own version .. which wud be the same thing. (its 0027..sleepy.. :D)
well.. thats my POV o the whole idea....
believe watever u do believe in. doesnt make a difference when u are sure tat u are not cheating urself n tat its somethin helpful for others.
comments are welcome. (tho i don't intend on arguing.. as there wil be no winners.. u know it.)
:)>-
Well, this is not, probably, going to be organised. read on.
okai, i had this chat wit 2 o my friends. The topic was the existence of God. Now, there MIGHT be (cuz i myself dunno to wat extent i'll take it) views that can be offending. and don bite back incase u don agree.
Okai, the question was WHY is there a NEED for GOD? ....
This is wat i believe - There is NO need for one. well why? .. okie .. simply cuz .. i find there is NO need for one. Is there anything we cant do without having to pray or believe tat god is doing this for us? No. i cant seem to find ONE single reason (otherthan - say - start of the universe, why the world is the way it is..)... everything else can be shown to be or proved usin our knowledge of physics, maths, .. or any other science... even art.
Then, yes... there ARE claims o miracles, our history which we shouldnt be negelecting , hmm.. which point to the reasons for existense of an almighty force... well.. let me quote a post i came across.. which was made by my friend.
"history is just something that MEN passed down through the generations, either through stories (which ARE, and always will be STORIES) or writing (again, something what some guy wrote down...u cant trust people to be completely truthful....there will always be factors left unaccounted.....like that person's mindset, personality, etc. etc.).....and have you heard about "The Dark Ages" where innocent people were burnt at the stake just because other people felt they were practicing sorcery or witchcraft?? IMO I think it was like.....the people accused of witchcraft were just a bit different from the "normal" people (normal=majority of the population, not necessarily meaning "NORMAL").....and the "normal" people just found an excuse to get rid of them. These are the kind of people who WROTE the history that you talk about. Do you really trust them NOT to distort the facts and report incidents as they happened without some of their prejudices and personal thoughts/ideas rubbing off on the "history" they recorded??
And about the "miracles".....do you really think they really ARE miracles, and not unusual coincidents that have been passed along thru da generations, each generation adding their own interpretations to it?? For example.........In hindu mythology, avatars of gods and devils took human form and fought in flying chariots, throwing thunderbolts and breathing fire. WHAT IF.........what really happened was.....a tyrant king tried to take over his neighboring territory, ruled by a just ruler.....they fought a battle and the goody-goody king won. A couple of generations later, a soldier who fought in the war saw the kings fighting in 2 chariots speeding all over the battlefield, shouting abuses @ each other and shooting a bunch of arrows. Now that soldier tells his grandson about the whole thing.....and since he can't tell the kid that the kings were actually yelling "F**K you mofo, I aint gona let u take over MA territory, Ima RIP you a NEW ONE!!!" and "Yeah, u goody goody pansy?? Im gona make you wanna get back into ur momma's T**T!!"......he tells the kid they breathed fire @ each other. And since he doesnt want to scare the kid about arrows piercing the enemy soldiers' armor and the blood oozing out n stuff like that.....he tells him that they were throwing thunderbolts @ each other. The KID grows up, believes all that the grandpa sez, and passes it on. The fact that this is an age of superstition doesn't help ONE bit.
Like the above example?? I personally think THAT'S what happened all along, with variations of course. There will always be dumbasses in every generation dumb enough to believe this shit."
that was his reply to "arent there so much tat has been passed on thru generations ..the history n miracles" ... and had i not been lazy enough to type it all.. i wud've expressed the same view.
more evidence tat can be stacked up against the need to believe in god - how much of corruption n all such evil... murder, rape, robbery, name it .. and its happening out there.. no control watso ever.. ..where is god doing anything good???
all i find ppl do is - pray, n stil.. no use!... wtH.. instead o praying, cant they jus do things that are good... somethin useful to others.. sigh... rarely happens.
Its all in the head ... its wat we think. even if we start thinking tat there is no need for god, we can still do everything we do.. and even more if we jus believe tat we can... the mind is the door, imagination is the key, and self control and a right mindset should be the guard at the door.
next up - religion - totally f-ed up, i wud say, TODAY's religions i wud say... all they seem to advocate is hatred towards other belief's, promote communal violence.. all on the name of , yeah - GOD. WTH!.. are these ppl outta their damn minds? maybe ppl should start understanding tat religion is purely man made n also tat the REAL books o each o these religions NEVER advocate tat ONLY tat religion is rite... all they say is to love one another, to live in peace n harmony wit fellow human beings. when wud ppl start understanding this??? :-<. HUMANITY IS THE REAL N ONLY RELIGION ...GET IT?? :|
not totally going against the beliefs ... there are certain positives in believing in god - like -
"People have been raised in different ways, in different corners of the planet.....the only thing that unites them all is religion, or the belief in a supreme being. you know what I mean. So, religion is not a bad thing.....if it is used to bring people together. its good to have FAITH, and use it as a crutch when you're mentally reduced to a pulp, for some reason or the other........."
- by my friend... yes... a bit lazy to type my own version .. which wud be the same thing. (its 0027..sleepy.. :D)
well.. thats my POV o the whole idea....
believe watever u do believe in. doesnt make a difference when u are sure tat u are not cheating urself n tat its somethin helpful for others.
comments are welcome. (tho i don't intend on arguing.. as there wil be no winners.. u know it.)
:)>-
December 25, 2005
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
Hey ppl, been a while, huh? well.. exams all over.. and i am sittin at home.. bored... its X'mas .. still.. no plans.
waiting for friends to come in the evening.. tats the only plan... play n spend time chatting.
jus read thru GDP's blog... (duttan.rediffblogs.com) and came across this test - What temperment are u?
this was the result i got -
guess its quite correct...(tho not ENTIRELY ) those who know me well enough will definitely agree.
well... now thinking of writing about a topic that is so often argued/debated (n all tat ) upon... abt god.. its coming up. stay tuned ;)
:)>-
Hey ppl, been a while, huh? well.. exams all over.. and i am sittin at home.. bored... its X'mas .. still.. no plans.
waiting for friends to come in the evening.. tats the only plan... play n spend time chatting.
jus read thru GDP's blog... (duttan.rediffblogs.com) and came across this test - What temperment are u?
this was the result i got -
| You Have a Phlegmatic Temperament |
 Mild mannered and laid back, you take life at a slow pace. You are very consistent - both in emotions and actions. You tend to absorb set backs easily. You are cool and collected. It is difficult to offend you. You can remain composed and unemotional. You are a great friend and lover. You don't demand much of others. While you are quiet, you have a subtle wit that your friends know well. At your worst, you are lazy and unwilling to work at anything. You often get stuck in a rut, without aspirations or dreams. You can get too dependent on others, setting yourself up for abandonment. |
guess its quite correct...(tho not ENTIRELY ) those who know me well enough will definitely agree.
well... now thinking of writing about a topic that is so often argued/debated (n all tat ) upon... abt god.. its coming up. stay tuned ;)
:)>-
November 16, 2005
Welcome to my world.
Hello!
So who am i? .. I am Suraj A.B. A 4th year student doing electronics and communication engg @ rajagiri school of engg n tech. I am 6' tall, abt 3' wide .. yup.. a huge guy.. abt 88kg. :D!
My interests - GAMING!!.. i am wat any layman or even many o the non-comp freaks call - 'crazy about games".. i change tat statement slightly... "passionate abt gaming!" .. yup.. i am a driven gamer... a gamer driven by a desire to win... and i don give a DAMN abt ppl who think gamin is jus kid's play... bring it ON.. i'll show u wat a gamer is made up of... i jus cant give up.I'll write more on gaming later.
other interests - chatting, listenin to music.. dependin on my mood.. so tat means.. collecting music... :D, i spend a lotta time wit my friends.. i like readin stories.. good ones .. like those by richard bach. now i'm readin P.G. Wodehouse (which for some reason, which i cant seem to comprehend, my friends jus cant agree upon...tat i am readin this cuz i like readin the "book"... fools) .. am not much into readin anyways.. read tech mags otherwise.
wat more do u want to know abt me?.. post a comment.. if i find it 'bloggable' ..wil do. :)
peace. :)>-
Suraj
So who am i? .. I am Suraj A.B. A 4th year student doing electronics and communication engg @ rajagiri school of engg n tech. I am 6' tall, abt 3' wide .. yup.. a huge guy.. abt 88kg. :D!
My interests - GAMING!!.. i am wat any layman or even many o the non-comp freaks call - 'crazy about games".. i change tat statement slightly... "passionate abt gaming!" .. yup.. i am a driven gamer... a gamer driven by a desire to win... and i don give a DAMN abt ppl who think gamin is jus kid's play... bring it ON.. i'll show u wat a gamer is made up of... i jus cant give up.I'll write more on gaming later.
other interests - chatting, listenin to music.. dependin on my mood.. so tat means.. collecting music... :D, i spend a lotta time wit my friends.. i like readin stories.. good ones .. like those by richard bach. now i'm readin P.G. Wodehouse (which for some reason, which i cant seem to comprehend, my friends jus cant agree upon...tat i am readin this cuz i like readin the "book"... fools) .. am not much into readin anyways.. read tech mags otherwise.
wat more do u want to know abt me?.. post a comment.. if i find it 'bloggable' ..wil do. :)
peace. :)>-
Suraj
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