July 9, 2006

In the end..


Date: 10th July


"I want to have the same last dream again,
The one where I wake up and I'm alive.
Just as the four walls close me within,
My eyes are opened up with pure sunlight.
I'm the first to know,
My dearest friends,
Even if your hope has burned with time,
Anything that's dead shall be re-grown,
And your vicious pain, your warning sign,
You will be fine.

Hey ohhh,
Here I am,
And here we go,
Life's waiting to begin. "

~ Angels and Airways.

That ones for all o my batchmates, my friends.

The day came.. and now its like the aftermath of a war. Sadness, terrible loss, tears, n more tears.. thats wat I see around me.

Yday was like the LAST day all of us were together.. @ our friends wedding @ ICC, Le Merdian. The emotions running outta control. We wont be the same again, ever. the day we all feared the most - the day the 66 went in 66 different ways. some left yday, some today, some tomm.. within a week - there wont be a 66, not even a 6. The most cruel game of life.. as the saying goes - Love makes us come together and then makes us part. Time does this wit ruthless precision. Yes, I am upset. dead upset. The memories jus flow. I dont cry .. Its not my way. but I cant seem to speak to any1. thats why I am blogging. But maybe that one odd tear escaped my eyes yday..

A day that began wit me really wanting to drive all around the city wit my friends, ended up wit every1 in tears and me - loudly silent. After having a scene wit even guys crying for they were all going separate ways that day, cant blame em for being such good friends can u? .. from there, bidding good-byes to all i could find, me n 13 o us headed off to wellington island to jus spend sometime in the quite sea front there. We spend around 2 quiet hours, spliting up into smaller groups at times.. then grouping up, sharing all the thoughts. Then we headed off to barista.. but had to head to the see-off point. I rather not explain the scene. 'Upsetting' is an understatement.

When i came here- never expected to get so close to ppl. This place, for being a real pain at times, my class - made me realise wat life is about. and now i'm having to part wit it. But like the saying goes - "C'est la vie".

My turn to bid farewell is jus coming .. withing 5 days. O_O .. NOW - that number - I JUST realised that .. holy hell!!

oh well.. its jus this phase - going thru this...

Will it ever happen again? Could time run backwards someday? I dont believe or wish for such things to happen.. but now I find myself wishing so.

oh well.. cant seem to get the words.. have always had the problem of getting the words when I need em the most -

anyways...


Date: 15th July
Time: 1930 hours


I am rite now at the webworld.. they 've all left.. suddenly feels so empty.. I think of calling one o em up.. then i realise .. there is no1 around. each one somewhere now.. :(

This is the toughest phase i guess.. am not thinking.. not able to .. now i want to join infosys.. want to be wit them.. but.. my fault - had i cleared the paper.. i wud 've been on that bus now..

no.. i wont regret this.. i wont let this break me.. but the pressure seems to be too much.. crushing me each time i feel upset - JUST that one bit..

Lost in time.. lost in thought.. lost in emotions i've never felt before.. I have to survive thru this.. pull thru without them.

This one is for all em - they know who they are..


miss ya.

luv,
neo.

1 comment:

the Fragger said...

U had a really good class dude.

I aint as desp as this, because I had very few close friends in class.

U have studied in school nah? So u had felt all this before nah? Shouldn't that make u stronger and more resilient to desp feelings?

I am not against u feeling desp, but don't remain like it.

Accept the way life is and move on.