March 11, 2006

Inevitable changes.

I had it coming. I knew it the moment I opened my notebook. It was exam time. and this time I knew there was no hope. I tried. I tried hard to learn n understand as much as i can. but again time was against me. I had n have NO 1 to blame. My fault. My mistake. And I am not going to fall to my knees and pray for mercy. I am going to set things RIGHT. Myself.

As an safe measure I have done a few things:
1.) Switchin off my phone during evening hours
I am a sms junkie.. or watever u call ppl who do 60 smss an hour or more.. wit real easy. I think that has been really a big factor in me spending time chattin wit friends and not studyin when I should've been.
2.) Keeping the net down.
again.. a chat machine. I chat almost as much as I talk. tat too takes ... no ..EATS away at my time. Cut tat down by a big margin.
3.) the BIGGEST one o em all - Uninstalled UT.
for those who dunno... some o my friends say - its more important to me than water or fresh air. ..well not TAT important. but it was like a part o me. A part o me tat makes me calm. Playin used to take away all my anger, it used to ease my pain. my drug.
but i think too much o anything wud, infact, harm me... any1 for tat matter. It has. BIG time. I used to like play 3-4 games a day. easily adding up to 2 hrs.. including the chat for server address.. map selection, chat in game, waiting times, server rehosting due to lag, practice session before match. There.. 2 hours a day for gaming when i barely had time to do my daily portions.

I sleep by 10-10.30 .. or max 11. I mite sit up late if i am chattin wit my friends. else no. I dont, DEFINITELY , study after 10 pm. So the only time I have is 7-9 when I am home. and i am not allowed to sit infront o the comp after 10.30 usually. so there u go.. do the math. I HAVEN'T BEEN STUDYIN A WORD. since jan.

the end result - i failed in 4 outta 6 papers. My WORST performance. one tat i am DEFINTELY NOT proud off. I have never been this bad at exams. mainly its cuz I am a person who grasps topics easily and to get a pass or even 60% .. i need to jus pay attention to class lectures. atleast tats the way its been for the last 18 yrs .. since i started my LKG. 18, is it? aah.. anyways. ( i havent failed a year yet.. so make the correct count.. :P) ..
.. and this is exactly the reason for my poor performance THIS sem. never been payin attention to class. distracted. and upset over few things.

Now, watever has happened has happened. I am glad my parents and teachers have been really supportive of me and are helping me get over all this. I have started studying. really.
today i am taking a break. Sitting down. reading a book - "the case for faith". My friend gave this to me. Seems like she felt there were a few things wrong in my "god blog". Interesting book. Jus 40 pages into it. I already have a few questions of my own.. tat I think the author has missed out on. Maybe he does indeed asks those q's and find answers. Let me see. YEAH!.. I WILL BLOG abt tat after I am thru. Expect tat one by 9th o april.

Listening to "I still havent found wat i am looking for" by u2. Nice song. Neat, meaningful lyrics. I dunno .. having this addiction to lyrics these days. Been listenin to rather more o soft songs than my usual dose o heavy metal. I am changing all over. and I am only happy tat I am doing it myself. Have understood my mistakes, learnt em, now correcting the same.

"
I have climbed highest mountain
I have run through the fields
Only to be with you
Only to be with you


I have run
I have crawled
I have scaled these city walls
These city walls
Only to be with you


But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
"
- U2.

btw, I WILL be back in gaming the DAY my final year exams are over. and I am going to raise hell.

: ) > -
the >:) signing off.

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm in the same boat dude..... have 2 papers from this sem, AND one from s5:((

Anonymous said...

Ohh... did a nice job dude... :P i quit playing cs from this sem and it helped me a lot in my academics..i used to play cs 3~4 hours a day..and for the last 3 months i havnt played a single game online.. :( Hold on to ur studies...

Anonymous said...

Studies >> gaming dude.

Its good that u realized that.

I have ur same "non study cycle"

but I study the week before the exam hardcore.

thats how i survive.

Anonymous said...

O_O studies? whatiteez???

Anonymous said...

hey great work with ur blog
by the way a small doubt
i had an image which i would like 2 place on the main header of the blog, just like u placed the "U" unreality image on top
how do i do it
do help me out

Anonymous said...

@ achilles... give your blog url ,and hen we'll see.. Its in the template. just load the pic you want to imageshack .us and change the link to the header from the default blogger one to the imageshack link

Anonymous said...

@kickassso my blog is http://www.crazedream.blogspot.com/
me n3o's classmate
well i uploaded the pic i wanted to imageshack...
the link is "http://img106.imageshack.us/img106/3357/clipboard030mg.jpg"
mind helping me out???

Anonymous said...

Hey! u are my classmate? or fromneo's??????? :blink: .. ur name?

Anonymous said...

"i don seem to get a link..." what was tht supposed to be
u donno achilles???
anyway ashwin not upadting his blog, i have put the link to ur blog on my blog
too bad u didnt recognise me thadoos

Anonymous said...

dude achilles... the header on your blog seems to be made of two images...

http://www.blogblog.com/tictac/top_div.gif 847x240px


http://www.blogblog.com/tictac/top_h1.gif 847x200px


try editing them, uploading the new ones to imageshack, and replace the originals links to these pics with the imageshack ones in the template



this is where You'll find the links in your template..

/* ---( header and site name )--- */

#blog-header {
margin: 0;
padding: 0;
font-family: "Lucida Grande", "Trebuchet MS";
background: #e0e0e0 url(http://www.blogblog.com/tictac/top_div.gif) no-repeat top left;
}

#blog-header h1 {
margin: 0;
padding: 45px 60px 50px 160px;
font-size: 200%;
color: #fff;
text-shadow: #81A75B 2px 2px 2px;
background: url(http://www.blogblog.com/tictac/top_h1.gif) no-repeat bottom left;
}

#blog-header

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