I am required to kill, so I kill and thats enough.

Said the general - Maximus, the invincible. the gladiator. With those words, I re-start this blog.

Listening to "Leave no man behind" (Black Hawk Down O.S.T by Hans Zimmer).

Its been so long since I've blogged and I am having this major writer's block. Anyways.. typing in whatever is coming into my mind, as has been the case with all previous blogs. :D. So, here goes...

Its been 8months since I've come here - the IT city - the Air-Conditioned city - the beer capital - the 2nd most polluted city in India - 10th in Asia - Bengalooru (Bangalore as I prefer to call it). Joined Accenture on 18th sept'06. Training started on my b'day - 20th sept. I remember meeting my 1st friends, right from the induction program - Tom and Sabin. (The 2 other people I knew before I joined were - Suman and Nimisha). Life has been VERY smooth from then on. Never had hiccups - yes - perspective - I've never seen anything that has happened to be anything 'negative' (for some who might have a slightly different opinion :D). Was living as a paying guest for 6 months; and eventually moved in with 4 other Accenture-mates and good friends - Arun, Arindam, Gebin and Praveen - we call ourselves the BoW - Brotherhood of Wolves. hehe.. yeah.. just a funky name - we are one crazy group - crazy in every sense sans drinks n the likes. Crazy enough to play football inside the house with a proper, probably FIFA approve-able, football @ 11pm (mind you, its a flat - people stay above our floor, below our floor, next door, neighbouring flats.. )... play badminton @ 12AM, outside, play Heavy metal music (yep - likes of Metallica n Rammstein) early in the morning - 7AM, late night bike rides (ok, this might be common for some b'lore-ed crowd.), anyways... the point is - LIFE HAS been AND IS good. I am enjoying life, my way. No restriction, answerable to no1 except myself (technically only) - but I do maintain the 'decorum' (as me n Gangu used to say it in class... "please people, maintain the decorum..." :D .. and we were the 1st to break it.). Made a lotta new friends. Some really good ones.

Thats like the gist of the last 8 months. (Oh ya.. I do have my own bike now :D, if u didn't know).

I changed the song - "Pain of Salvation - A Trace of Blood".

I just sometimes get lost in all the thoughts - you know - how things have been - all the good times - nostalgia hits me hard - well, thats the way things are and I am not going into it anymore. Have blogged enough on that, imo. Funnily (according to some people who know me) - the b'lore life hasn't really changed me much - still the soft spoken, a bit shy, yet slightly obsessive, sometimes maddeningly positive n tension free character.

Song:"Metallica - Fade to Black"

Something about my job -
Accenture IS a good place to work - NO doubt. Its work environs are WAY better n much less taxing than any other IT service company. I am lucky to have got a really inspiring supervisor. But I am not really happy - My tastes lie in 'programming' and NOT in 'coding'. But coding is all that happens in such companies.Thats basically the reason why I names the blog so. - which in my case, translates to - "I am require to work, so I do and thats enough". But then, lucky nevertheless - have the best of the lot. :)
Work starts at 9AM ( I reach at 10), goes on till 6( ya.. I leave only AFTER 6.. ^_^).
Hit the gym daily ( which is true till mid April or so, after which - I have been a bit lazy... :D.. getting back into the routine slowly). Reach back at around 8.30pm. This is the routine n I am neither too happy nor sad about it.

Song: "Parikrama - But It Rained"

Other happenings:
1) a Coorg Trip - This was just amazing - It was a trip we - the 18th sept '06 batch - organized n went for. 2 Days. It was a absolute blast - it was the college batch atmosphere tat prevailed. Bus journey marked well with music/dance then in the night - there were groups - a few speaking on 'ghosts stories.. oh the creepy ones... the scary ones... all o them'... then another which fell asleep... then a few (which included me) - listening n singing (if u can call it singing.. he he) as Tommy played away with the guitar. Reaching coorg at the rite time was the best part - JUST before sunrise. We have captured some great pics of the sunrise on the cams, but its nothing like being there and just feeling it. Then came the trek... just awesome. I can go on forever on that. H eh. In the night we had a camp fire and a few games ... celebrated b'days of 3 of our dearest ones among the group - Tommy, Sabin and Rangu sir.

2. SCREEEAAAMMMM FOR ME NOW, BANGALORE! - the iron maiden concert. Bruce Dickinson had the crowd in a trance-ing frenzy - all of us head banging to their songs. My good, non-existent, GOD.. it was a HYPER EVENT! I had a strained neck for the next 3 days. They played MOST of their greatest hits plus a few from their new album. The ones which should've been added is aces high, wasted years ... well .. um.. Alexander the great ... rime of the ancient mariner... well.. a lot more! he he.. we, maiden maniacs, can never have enough! :D

Those were 2 major events that happened. Life just flowing in the high gear.

Song : "Lamb of God - 11th Hour"

Sometimes I wonder - am I just living on? is this really what I want? I dunno what I would want otherwise tho. But life is moving at a really quick pace, alright. and I have to check out what to do with my M.S. Want to do a lot more things - travel - thats one of the main priorities, protracted searches left me in the afterglow- somethings have left me lost. Some have made me understand myself, my friends, my surroundings, my world - a lot more.

Well, thats about it. Its the birth of a new age -a new phase in life - an age of understanding - an age of freedom - an age where things move at the speed of thought - I am at yet another juncture in life - any turn I take - is leads me to yet another - a sinister set of recursive turns - yeah - life is all about choosing the rite ones, relative to each one.

Song : " Iron Maiden - Alexander the great"
Maybe I 'll blog on a certain thought process that keeps running in my mind. It confirms my understanding of the world around me. But I am not able to pen it down - its way too complicated - as it just flashes in me - bits n pieces of the entire idea.

Ok, Have some rantings about b'lore -
1. Its getting frigging hot.
2. Its traffic is maddening - it gets worse by the hour (not even 'by the day')
3. Being the 2nd most polluted city is nothing to be happy about
4. Its expensive... not I am not being stingy here. It seriously is. But then - such extra costs are always attached to the 'big cities'.
5.The 'malls' have lost their value - its more of a fish market than a mall. its SO packed on weekends.
6.The city is a COMPLETE DISASTER if it rains - the drainage system overflows, the city gets congested, the traffic just stops. But if u are at home when its raining - its beautiful to watch and its really a good time. :D
7. People are 'more' easily influenced by religious sentiments than what I've seen in Kerala.
8. My mobile phone bill is sky-rocketing!

Song: "Dashboard Confessional - Vindicated"

The good points -
1. Have most of my good old friends here.
2. The new ones too. :D
3. Freedom - no1 really bothers what you do. - as in, in ekm - people comment unnecessarily about what you do. Nothing like that here.
4. Options for everything - Stuff like food, movie theaters, hang out places, dress, watches... name it ... EVERYTHING is available.
5. Getting to know different people - b'lore is a hub for IT and people from all over the globe live here. and getting to know such people - esp in work environs and also outside - u learn a lot.

Anyways.. thats about it for now.

Shall blog more frequently henceforth.

Off to do some 'free-biking'... he he...
Adios.
:)>- n \m/
Suraj.

A game of 5s..

LONG time since I blogged ... and say I got tagged by Vidya ... and its abt a game of 5s .. 5 this .. 5 that... anyways.. here goes..


->Ten Years Ago

1. Was 12yrs old..
2. Used to play chess and a 2D car race - Cisco.. on PC ..
3. Was still a kid - had a GI Joe collection
4. Was a thin guy (yup... u read that rite - thin :D )
5. Was very shy..

->Five Years Ago

1. 17yrs old...
2. Completed my 12th successfully and quickest at doing math-integration problems in class.. ha. ;))
3. Highly inclined towards computers/games/programming
4. 1 yr since I changed my hair style from super-short hair to relatively long hair ..heh
5. Had made my 1st real gang of friends.

->Last One Year

1. 21yrs old also in the final yr of engg course..
2. Hardcore UT2k4 gamer.
3. Had a heavy metal fan/guitarist look.. still have it..
4. Got placed into Infosys .. (now working for Accenture tho :D)
5. Wrote my GRE..

->Yesterday

1. Was a Monday.
2. In the office, no particular work
3. Cauvery issue goes in favour of TN, panic in city - expected riots.
4. Evening spent sleeping, 'kathi' on phone, sleeping again
5. Spent time talking to friends...slept off at 10.

->Five Things Planned for next 5 Years

1. Get some work experience.
2. Go abroad for studies and complete it within these 5 yrs.
3. Hopeful 2 find some1. :)..
4. Get a better Job wit my M.S(or PhD) degree.. oh I will..
5. Visit Europe - the fields n all those beautiful places we see in movies..

->Five Yummy Things

1. Those icecreams @ corner house
2. Pal Ada ( Super sweet 'payasam'/kheer ..)
3. Paneer curry
4. Chocolates..
5. Kerala thaali.. nammude onam sadhya...

->Five Songs I know by heart

hmm... not exactly by heart.. but most parts o these songs -

1. Duran duran - Ordinary World
2. Goo Goo Dolls - Iris
3. Linkin Park - In The End
4. Metallica - Nothing else matters
5. James Blunt - You are beautiful

Know the chorus of most metal songs i listen to .. :D .. but I need to be listening to it as well.. umm.. something like tat.. u get the picture.. but ppl usually dont let me sing.. wonder why? 8- ;)) ..

->Five Things I'd do If I had Money

1. I wud own a Ferrari Enzo or maybe get my own Ferrari P4-5 made.. ha!
2. Will definitely own the best of the Alienwares PCs..
3. Will have a house in the best spot in Europe.. wherever that is.
4. Will make a trip to outer space .. jus like that russian guy went once..
5. And have MY OWN F1 team, maybe hire ferrari ;)!

sorry.. I am not going to say "charity work" n all.. it doesnt work in our country- howmuchever we try.

->Places I Escape to

1.My Room
2.My Phone
3.My comp and play UT2k4 online
4.Listen to watever is on my mp3 player
5.Read books/debate on forums.

->TV shows I cant miss

1. F1!!!!
Actually thats abt it.. I dont watch TV now-a-days.
otherwise-
2.Friends
3.Medical Detectives
4.Extreme Machines
5.EPL/Champions league

->Five Things I Can't Live Without

1. Food n water :P
2. Family n Friends (of course!)
3. PC
4. Communication grid - my phone, net conn.
5. The latest addition - my Bike!

-> Five Things I Can Live Without

1. TV serials, most of hindi, mallu movies, all other movies in regional languages
2. Alcoholic drinks and smokes
3. Non-veg food (took me sometime.. but now I am living without it. )
4.
5.

->Five Favourite Ethnic Cuisines

1. Onam time sadhyas :D
2. Chinese
3. Italian
4. Chaat stuff
5. .........

->Five best places to visit
(ones I have visited)
1. Kerala!! - the cities have nothing... but the natural beauty of kerala is pretty stunning. Have been to MANY in kerala
2. Coorg
3. Ooty
4. Singapore - ultra clean, beautiful, amazing all - in - all.
5. Blore - for all the hype...

->Five best places to visit
(ones I plan to visit)
1. Rome - the vatican
2. France
3. Other places in europe worth visiting
4. US of A
5. Outer space (:D :-? why not? ;) )

n3o.

Yet Another music tag!...

This is an even more interesting tag.. tagged by quite a few -

This is abt answering a few questions wit the song u are listening to ..

to do this -
put in all the music u have on to the playlist, switch ON shuffle..
I got around 58GB of music now.. :D all loaded..

I am not rigging this one.. but i am skipping a few tracks if they appear totally off topic w.r.t the question in hand.. :)

here goes.. :

1. How does the world see you?

A. Robbie Williams - Let me entertain you..

Hell is gone and heaven's here
There's nothing left for you to fear
Shake your arse come over here
Now scream
I'm a burning effigy
Of everything I used to be
You're my rock of empathy, my dear

So come on let me entertain you
Let me entertain you

Keke.. entertain u.. ( [-x .. no no.. no weird ideas there :P ) .. the gamers get the frag entertainment .. and so on.. umm.. ya.. w/e...

2. Will I have a happy life?

A. Limp Bizkit - My Way

Special
You think you're special
You do
I can see it in your eyes
I can see it when you laugh at me
Look down on me
You walk around on me
Just one more fight
About your leadership
And I will straight up
Leave your shit
Cause I've had enough of this
And now I'm pissed

Yeah
This time I'm 'a let it all come out
This time I'm 'a stand up and shout
I'm 'a do things my way
It's my way
My way, or the highway

HELL YEAH - Happy or sad to others .. its my way!

3. What do my friends think of me?

A. Creed - My Sacrifice

wow.. this shuffle is working well...

Hello my friend
We meet again
It's been a while
Where should we begin?
Feels like forever
Within my heart
Are memories
Of perfect love that
You gave to me
Oh, I remember
When you are with me
I'm free, I'm careless
I believe
Above all the others
We'll fly
This brings tears
To my eyes
My sacrifice

We've seen our share
Of ups and downs
Oh, how quickly life
Can turn around
In an instant
It feels so good to reunite
Within yourself and
Within your mind
Let's find peace there

'Cause when you are
With me
I'm free, I'm careless
I believe
Above all the others
We'll fly
This brings tears
To my eyes
My sacrifice


Yup, I am always there for my friends.. the real ones.. they know who they are..

4. Do people secretly lust after me?

A. Rednex - Cotton Eye Joe .

Well.. I did really understand tha questions.. hmm.. :-??

5. How can I make myself happy?

A. Bryan Adams - The only thing that looks good on me.

I don't look good in no Armani Suits
No Gucci shoes - or designer boots
I've tried the latest lines from A to Z
But there's just one thing that looks good on me

The only thing I want
The only thing I need
The only thing I choose
The only thing that looks good on me...is you


yeah.. go figure... ;)) ..kekeke...


6. What should I do with my life?

A. Korn - Freak On a Leash (Freakin' B mix)

Feeling like a freak on a leash (You wanna see the light)
Feeling like I have no release (So do I)
How many times have I felt diseased (You wanna see the light)
Nothing in my life is free...is free

Sometimes I cannot take this place
Sometimes it's my life I can't taste
Sometimes I cannot feel my face
You'll never see me fall from grace

Hmm... Freak on a leash NO MORE! .. Am free.. free now .. heehaw!

7. Will I ever have children?

A. Metallica - The Unforgiven 2

O_o .. well.. "YA". :))


8. What is some good advice for me?

A. Crazytown - Butterfly

:))

I don't deserve you unless it's some kind of hidden message
to show me life is precious
Then I guess it's true
But to tell truth, I really never knew
T'll I met you... See I was lost and confused
Twisted and used up
Knew a better life existed but thought that I missed it

My lifestyle's wild I was living like a wild child
Trapped on a short leash paroled the police files
So yo. what' s happening now?
I see the sun breaking down into dark clouds
and a vision of you standing out in a crowd.

Come come my lady
you're my butterfly
Sugar.baby
come my lady you're my
pretty baby ill make your legs shake
you make me go crazy


So whos my butterfly? teehee..


9. How will I be remembered?

A. Bon Jovi - Keep the faith

The lyrics cant really be used here.. but the name o the song - .. yeah.. "keep the faith, he is up there wit us dear" says the person who is remembering me.. :D


10. What's my signature dancing song?

A. Paul Van Dyk - Nothing But You

Winamp knows me pretty well, I guess.. but not enough.. this one has good beats.. doesnt get me moving tho.. but in the car.. it will surely get me to the press down the accelerator hard!


11. What's my current theme song?

A. DJ Teisto - Sweet Mysery .. thats the name o the song.. hearing it for the 1st time :))

oh.. and this ones GOOD!!

12. What do others think is my current theme song?

A. Enya - Less than a Pearl

Out of the night has come the day
Out of the night, our small earth.

Our words drift away.
Our words journey
to find those who will listen.

We call into the distance...
We call into the distance...
We call into the distance...
We call into the distance...

Less than a pearl in the sea of stars,
we are a lost island in the shadows.

It may be our words become lost.
It may be our words find nothing, find no-one.

We call into the distance...
We call into the distance...

It cant be called as my theme song.. which wud've been Gavin Rossdale's - Adrenaline!

but I really do like Enya's music... not to mention her voice.. 8-> :-x


13. What shall they play at my funeral?

A. Godsmack - Straight out of the line.

Hee.. God smack -ed!


14. What type of women do I like?

A. Robbie Williams - She's the one

PERFECT!!!
well.. not any girl :-s .. this one should be a guideline :D -> "She's the one"

:) ..


15. How's my love life?


A. Linkin Park - Nobody's Listening

Try to give you warning
But everyone ignores me
(Told you everything loud and clear)
But nobody’s listening
Call to you so clearly
But you don’t want to hear me
(Told you everything loudu and clear)
But nobody’s listening

I got a
Heart full of pain
Head full of stress
Handfull of anger
Held in my chest
And everything left is aw aste of time
I hate my rhymes
(But I hate everyone else’s more)
I’m riding on the back of this pressure
Guessing that it’s better
I cant keep myself together
Because all of this stress
Gave me something to write on
The pain gave me something
I could set my sights on
You never forget the blood sweat and tears
The uphill struggle over years
The fear and the trash talking
And the people it was to
And the people that started it
Just like you

hmmm.....


Well thats it folks!

:)>-
neo

A Music Tag...

I 've been wanting to do this for a long time.. and ever since GDP had tagged me, and its abt my musical tastes..

done using a database from last.fm . a free site that automatically logs ur music. jus sign up :D

this is my link: Me, My Music

Right now listening to Kasz and Beal - Mortal Kombat mix. \m/ ^_^ \m/

okies .. now to my list, as of 23rd July 2006.



These are the questions the Tag requires me to answer:

1.What was the first song you ever heard by 6?

A. Keith Urban's - Tonight I wanna cry

2.What is your favourite album of 2?

A. Escapology

3.How many times have you seen 4 live?

A. Pink Floyd? Never.. :-<

4.What is your favourite song by 7?

A. Stand up for the champions

5.What is your favourite lyric that 2 has sung?

A. Angels

when I’m feeling weak
and my pain walks down a one way street
I look above
and I know ill always be blessed with love
and as the feeling grows
she breathes flesh to my bones
and when love is dead
I’m loving angels instead

and through it all she offers me protection
a lot of love and affection
whether I’m right or wrong
and down the waterfall
wherever it may take me
I know that life wont break me
when I come to call she wont forsake me
I’m loving angels instead


6.What is your favourite song by 9?

A. Demon Speeding. Something abt that song can be observed when u see me driving down the highway wit my car.. >:)

7.How did you get in to 3?

A. My cousin once asked me abt my tastes in music.. his friends were along wit him when i mentioned the names like maiden, limp bizkit n all.. this was in 11th.. those guys made me listen to Du Hast. been a Rammstein-er ever since ...

8.What was the first song you heard by 1?

A.This is the new sh*t started listening to this group when i was really bored .. but after that.. realised what i've missed.. goodness. these guys rock!!

9.What is your favourite song by 4?

A. Coming back to life


Where were you when I was burned and broken
While the days slipped by from my window watching
Where were you when I was hurt and helpless
Because the things you say and the things you do surround me
While you were hanging yourself on someone else's words
Dying to believe in what you heard
I was staring straight into the shining sun

10.How many time have you seen 9 live?

A. ROFL .. zombie? NA! havent been lucky enough to see em in action...

11.What is a good memory you have concerning 2?

A. "I am loving angels instead".

12.Is there a song of 8 that makes you sad?

A. Yes - "It Hurts". Thats one senti song..

13.What is your favourite album of 5?

A. Havent been lucky enough to get ALL of ONE album. Have a mixed collection and what ever I have - I am sure - In Flames DOESNT disappoint. OWNZ!!

14.What is your favourite lyric that 3 has sung?

A. Rammstein?? =)) .. I dont really follow German... but I love it for the feeling it gives.. the adrenaline rush is too much! .. anyways, for the record - Feuer Frei.

15.What is your favourite song of 1?

A. Personal Jesus.

16.What is your favourite song of 10?

A. Running Free/The Clairvoyant/Hallowed Be Thy Name/Judgement of Heavens/ Fear of the dark.

I cant decide b/w these..

17.How many times have you seen 8 live?

A. Havent seen any .. I hope they come to India or I get a flight to UK at the right time.. :D

18.What is your favourite album of 1?

A. Again - a collection of songs.. no album as such..

19.Is there a song of 3 that makes you sad?

A. ROFLMAO!! Rammstein makes NO1 sad.. O_o...

20.What is a great memory you have considering 9?

A. AHHA... - 15+ kms of uninhibited nh47 .. The songs - Demon Speeding, Devil Man, 2 Lane Blacktop, and Never gonna stop. Road almost empty, the highway police doesnt usually patrol this section, got the car to a blistering 125kmph.. muhahaha.. sounds crazy, aint it? Loved it... one helluva memory for a car lover who has to statisfy his need for speed wit a wagonR and indian roads. :D ..

now all ya music lovers head for last.fm .. and do this blog.. if u dont have a blog.. start one!

:)>-
neo.

In the end..

Date: 10th July


"I want to have the same last dream again,
The one where I wake up and I'm alive.
Just as the four walls close me within,
My eyes are opened up with pure sunlight.
I'm the first to know,
My dearest friends,
Even if your hope has burned with time,
Anything that's dead shall be re-grown,
And your vicious pain, your warning sign,
You will be fine.

Hey ohhh,
Here I am,
And here we go,
Life's waiting to begin. "

~ Angels and Airways.

That ones for all o my batchmates, my friends.

The day came.. and now its like the aftermath of a war. Sadness, terrible loss, tears, n more tears.. thats wat I see around me.

Yday was like the LAST day all of us were together.. @ our friends wedding @ ICC, Le Merdian. The emotions running outta control. We wont be the same again, ever. the day we all feared the most - the day the 66 went in 66 different ways. some left yday, some today, some tomm.. within a week - there wont be a 66, not even a 6. The most cruel game of life.. as the saying goes - Love makes us come together and then makes us part. Time does this wit ruthless precision. Yes, I am upset. dead upset. The memories jus flow. I dont cry .. Its not my way. but I cant seem to speak to any1. thats why I am blogging. But maybe that one odd tear escaped my eyes yday..

A day that began wit me really wanting to drive all around the city wit my friends, ended up wit every1 in tears and me - loudly silent. After having a scene wit even guys crying for they were all going separate ways that day, cant blame em for being such good friends can u? .. from there, bidding good-byes to all i could find, me n 13 o us headed off to wellington island to jus spend sometime in the quite sea front there. We spend around 2 quiet hours, spliting up into smaller groups at times.. then grouping up, sharing all the thoughts. Then we headed off to barista.. but had to head to the see-off point. I rather not explain the scene. 'Upsetting' is an understatement.

When i came here- never expected to get so close to ppl. This place, for being a real pain at times, my class - made me realise wat life is about. and now i'm having to part wit it. But like the saying goes - "C'est la vie".

My turn to bid farewell is jus coming .. withing 5 days. O_O .. NOW - that number - I JUST realised that .. holy hell!!

oh well.. its jus this phase - going thru this...

Will it ever happen again? Could time run backwards someday? I dont believe or wish for such things to happen.. but now I find myself wishing so.

oh well.. cant seem to get the words.. have always had the problem of getting the words when I need em the most -

anyways...


Date: 15th July
Time: 1930 hours


I am rite now at the webworld.. they 've all left.. suddenly feels so empty.. I think of calling one o em up.. then i realise .. there is no1 around. each one somewhere now.. :(

This is the toughest phase i guess.. am not thinking.. not able to .. now i want to join infosys.. want to be wit them.. but.. my fault - had i cleared the paper.. i wud 've been on that bus now..

no.. i wont regret this.. i wont let this break me.. but the pressure seems to be too much.. crushing me each time i feel upset - JUST that one bit..

Lost in time.. lost in thought.. lost in emotions i've never felt before.. I have to survive thru this.. pull thru without them.

This one is for all em - they know who they are..


miss ya.

luv,
neo.

One of those really good fwds..

I just got this as a fwd.. .thought I should share this wit u ppl..

















one o the best fwds I 've ever got. Perhaps I like it cuz I can relate myself to most of those lines.
:)>-
n3o.

A bl0g.

AAAHHH....2/3 weeks to university exams and we still dunno when our exam will start, for sure. My results came out. disappointing 63%. tho i cleared everything. now my total is jus a shade below or dead on 68%. Infosys cut off. oh well.. thats the least of the thoughts troubling me.

I really dunno why I am typing this out now. Guess its cuz I don 've any1 to talk, at the moment. Went for a small get-together today noon. me n 5 o my schoolmates. it was different this time. Old memories n stories were in the air...[ along wit the smell of the curries.. (sri krishna inn.. ;)) )]. recollecting on wat n how the schooling days were like. Wow.. it was amazing. like taken back in time. thinking of how it all got us where we are now. 5 outta 6 today have been studying there since 1st std. and outta the 5 .. and 2 o us have been in the same class since 1st! tho he has never been the really close to me. well.. tats not important anymore. Nostalgia.. After we all were talking abt it.. I could very well remember every damn year oh-so-clearly!.

Now I am thinking of the last 4 years. which, along wit my 11th n 12th, is all i really want to rememeber. the years before em - lets jus say - there is nothing to be really "aah.. wow.. yeah.. tat was fun" abt. Coll life has changed me a lot. my character.. n even how i look .. my schoolmates on orkut couldnt even recognize me from my pic.. :)). and few o em had a shock when they met me today.. they were meeting me after a LONG time.. hehe.

I have already posted abt these years I guess.. simply amazing. the last few months have been of my college.. since feb - will never forget em. It has changed everything for me. The entire class has changed. I can say tat our class has by far been one o the best my coll has ever had. as a batch - we are >>>> than our juniors.. (nothin against them, jus a fact.. and i am giving a general opinion. not picking any1 in specific. there are prodigies in various fields among the juniors) .. but collectively we are a much livelier n joyful group. even considering the seniors - must say - they were really an awesome batch .. we were jus good enough to take their best n improve upon it.

Abt my class... this is how - 1st year - I joined my batch after getting an option to do so. i was in the applied electronics batch for 1 week.. from the day I entered 2002.ec batch - I could see the division of groups in the class. Quite a bad one - merit quota students n mgmt seat students. Quite a sad sight - the front rows n the back rows had virtually now friendly connections. I still dunno how it was among girls.. tho it wouldnt matter.

I was stuck b/w two worlds.. I had joined on merit quote.. wit the rank 518. ( i think logitech somehow found abt it.. and renamed their newer mx version to mx518 .. :P ). back to the topic - I found it real weird.. as my mind wasnt in tune wit those amongst the merit guys/gals .. they were all wat ppl wud call "padipist" and the ones who dont really enjoy "college life". my friends were all amongst those in the mgmt .. and quite frankly i found the company better.. and more lively. Me n 2 or 3 o us were like the bridge b/w the 2 groups. (tho the groups existed - it was mutually exclusive.. no enemity). Then the group structures changed.. here n there..

This was so till .. umm.. say - the 3rd year - till we had gone for our trip to mangalore, coorg. Things started to change. the groups started to disappear. relationships changed. The entire class was starting to work as a single unit. The change can only be felt.. atleast, I dunno how to type it out. And come final year.. our class now has no internal groups, tho some ppl are closer to certain others .. etc etc.. tats not the point anyway. now there is a seamless connection b/w all o em.

This change from groups to a single group - EC, make our class different from the rest where the reverse is wat is seen. tho AE is very similar.. but tat wud be wit due thanks to the fact that the 95% o the class are guys.. ( :P .. jus friendly competition i should say.. EC > AE :D). But our class has a 3rd o girls and still the count seems so meaningless.. the "oneness" is somethin to be felt. The teachers agree as well. Any1 who has seen us together know how it is. >:D< EC!

well .. tats it I guess. I 'll be doing a take on each o my classmates as i get time.. i have to get back to my studies now.. 4 modules is todays target. 2.5~3 done. need to finish the rest.

here is to the best group any1 could ever be in.. RASET.EC.2002 batch pwnz ALL!
will never forget this last sem .. not a minute of it..
love ya,

n3o.:)>-

A light in the middle of the dark tunnel??

Exams OVER! .. atleast the internals... jus one set o exams remain between me n end o my engg life.. studies will continue..

have 3 days o complete freedom here.. waiting for my friend sahil to reach cochin. me n quite a few o us have planned to have a complete blast for these days.. for there wont be a chance like this again.

I needed something to break free with... my way out - UT! Reinstalled it back for jus 4 days. and IT FEELS SO DAMN GOOD.. HELL YEAH! I play not jus for the fun.. but also to let out all tat aggression .. even when i am feeling down.. this helps .. and now i feel way too good! was feeling sick n tired o coll n exams n studies all throughout..
jus letting myself free ...

"reclaiming my life"!!

played like 10 games.. jus lost one... need to clear tat one game as well.. tat i will! gdp - moi waiting! >:)

tats it for now!
adios
:)>-

n3o.

Over and.... out. :(

Times come n gone... its officially over.. the farewell. Tho its jus been 2 weeks or so .. seems like a lot has happened and its like 4 years.. damn! My internal exams got over yday.. suddenly there is nothin to do! (yes..univs are there.. but tats all a month later) ..

:(

Evident Changes

"
Sure, if we change our perspective
Im certain I will change today
Im certain it will change our ways
When things fall into place

I want you to lead me
Take me somewhere
Dont want to live in a dream one more day
"

- In Flames - Come clarity

this blog was written a long time ago.. never completed it... now i am finishing this one..

this was the me till a few weeks ago..:

An attempt to explain why people like me are so engrossed in gaming.......

I dunno how successful this wud be... well.. for those who don know ( :P ) ... i am pretty much into hardcore gaming... and have reached a pretty decent level compared to rest.. and really good compared to the players in the country. okie, tat aside, why did i get hooked into a simple, ... COMPUTER game?

its somethin every1 is askin me... its something a few a****** make fun o me with. i don care wat they say. i love playing Unreal Tournament 2004 and wil continue playing it til the next version is released.

oh and some say its kiddish/childish to be playin a comp game when u are 21... lol... fools. :|. let me explain why a game .. a game based on the simplest ideas - kill ur opponents more number o times than he/she takes u out, can be so engrossing as to have made me play it for the past 1.5 years or so...

a small intro in to wat UT2k4 is all about - its a FIRST PERSON view based SHOOTER game where 2 or more players are put into a closed area - which is called a map/arena. all u have to do is aim n shoot. the map has, located in certain areas, armour, health, weapons, ammo etc.. the player can move, jump , look up n down, sideways all tat...

now stil the question remains - WHY 1.5years, rite??
quote from the book - Jonathan Livingston Seagull -
"Heaven is not a place, Heaven is not a time, Heaven is BEING PERFECT".

tat ONE line says it all... a game tat looks so simple offers SO much ...SO MUCH variations in the way it can be played by a player... defense/offense, shoot using 10 + different weapons each havin a unique property which can do max damage to ur opponent while u take the least.. then there is the choice of movement... the variations are beyond a layman's imagination. then there is the art of perfecting the aim, movement, strategy, using the sound to locate ur prey,


----------------------
this is the me NOW.
----------------------

completing the statement - its an art to be able to play we ppl do. its a skill that demands so much......... so much .. it made me lose so much. :( .. I am lost. I wudnt know why... I have quit gaming till my univs are over. I was really getting to level so different... for except SS, I was giving every1 a run for their money.. its not the scores tat tell the story. its the way i used to destroy my opposition wit surgical accuracy... (or docs wud start saying - we operate patients wit headshot-everytime-accuracy ; )) ). Gunner knows this.. Stryker knows this.. Darth Duttan knows this... Korn knows this.. spawn, snake.. name em .. any1 who has played me recently knows - one death is enough - game is almost over. SS cud feel the sting tho i never really got around to beat him. I AM NOT DISS-ing out at any1. we are among the best our nation can offer in this game. (this is jus frustration i am taking out .. )..

But the gamer in me still exists. Sharp, focused, honest, in the face, passionate. I spend my time driving around, biking, chatting wit friends over sms, proj work. studies are improving slowly. .

Why did i get here...? ( Why / )Was gaming the reason for me being in this position. I doubt it. But ran outta options. Life was punishing me too much for reasons I cant seem to understand. and i am not able to write abt the actual reason i started typing out the post.

but - Gamers will be gamers. a different breed. ppl who are actually more normal, more human than ppl who who don play. this is for sure. there is no questioning it. U cant.

" I know I've got a face in me
Points out all my mistakes to me
You've got a face on the inside too and
Your paranoia's probably worse
I don't know what set me off first but I know what I can't stand
Everybody acts like the fact of the matter is
I can't add up to what you can but
Everybody has a face that they hold inside
A face that awakes when I close my eyes
A face watches every time they lie
A face that laughs every time they fall
(And watches everything)
So you know that when it's time to sink or swim
That the face inside is watching you too
Right inside your skin
……..

The sun goes down
I feel the light betray me"

- Linkin Park - Papercut.

Stil searching for reasons... for all thats been happening.

:)>-
Suraj.